Ankle Cowboy Boots: Not Acceptable in Any Way, Shape, or Form
I have a question: What the heck are these things for? No seriously, take a quiz. Answer these questions about the boots in this photo:
1. These “shoes” ______.
a. were purchased and worn by a real person like you and me
b. were rented out by a costume shop as part of a pirate costume
c. are antiques that were worn by real cowboys in the Wild West
d. have real spurs on the back
2. The best way to dispose of them would be to ______.
a. donate them to poor children who don’t have enough money to buy real cowboy boots
b. shove the pointy toes in the gas pipes of coworkers you hate
c. set them on fire while camping with Tonto
d. donate them to a welfare organization for pirates and/or cowboys
Man. I don’t even know how to properly express the grief these m*#$ f**&&ers have caused me. Ankle boots for men should have never been freaking invented. COWBOY ankle boots for men is just evil. Plain evil. These things weigh like 20 pounds. WTF? I keep trying to throw them in the trash, but Weird Husband catches me and grabs them and hides them.
The good news is that he hasn’t worn them for a long time. The bad news is that he was wearing them on our first date, and I missed the cue. The cue to put my foot down and explain that any clothing more than 5 years old, more than 10 pounds heavy, and that even remotely resembles anything that could be worn by cowboys, skinheads, pirates, or be part of a museum display–is simply off limits.
While I am pretty sure that no one reading this blog has a husband who owns a similar pair of boots, I am going to post a link in case anyone else’s guy needs some nice (i.e., acceptable) new shoes. This shoe store never sells crazy stuff–just high-quality name brands at good prices:
