Funny dating flashback from when I wanted to find a husband. I was thinking about when my spouse and I were DATING!!!! There was nearly no sign of normalcy in this man whatsoever. Why then did I want to date him? That’s a very insightful question. See, I was quite normal. In fact, I was the girl at the office that guys wanted to go out with, including the hot director–sorry if that’s bragging–but it’s important background, because had I been desperate–of course I’d date a guy who seemed abnormal! But the irony is, the guys who seemed normal were actually jerks!!! Here’s a brief list of those–then a description of my husband in comparison:
1) Cheap guy. He was so nice, smart, funny, and SO handsome, knew 3 languages fluently, and had backpacked all over Europe after college–I loved talking to this guy, darn it. But on our first (and last) lunch date, when the waitress brought the $10 lunch bill, he looked up, saw I wasn’t reaching for my purse. Okay his salary was three times mine. So he said “Oh, you can treat me next time.” Uuuhhhh, no I can’t. Good BYE, cheap guy.
2) Totally rude guy. Even better. He was also was really nice, cute, smart, or so I thought. He had a good job, nice house, nice car (all three of which he talked about WAY too often)…Still, I liked him a lot till our date. Then suddenly, we discussed the death penalty and I said I can kind of see both views but tend to lean toward no in most cases. Hey, you feel differently, that’s fine. But did he HAVE to say that all executions should be televised? Also, this guy noticed the cute waitress’ name and used it when speaking with her. Finally, for some reason we talked about strip joints, and I mentioned that I am not a fan. He explained to me that this is the BEST place for a husband to be because at least you know where he is. Sure thing. And I no longer need to ever know where you are again. BYE forever, Rude Guy.
3) Sex Maniac Guy. No need to talk about this guy long, but the basics–we never went out. He was a really good-looking stock broker who would ask me out but ALWAYS mention his apartment as part of the date. That was a very good reason to never see his apartment or go out on a date with him. BYE bye, Sex Maniac Guy.
4) Millionaire Your Dad Was a Congressman and therefore You Need Serious Therapy Guy. This guy was something else. He was from a family of millionaires, literally, founders of a huge corporation you have heard of–apparently this gave him some kind of atrocious complex. The guy had no job, smoked pot all the time, dressed really sloppily, and got really irritated when people dressed nice and didn’t smoke pot (which included me). So, because most of this stuff remained hidden during our first date, we made it to date #2, which was VERY short. He explained that he was NOT going to stop smoking pot, and I could no longer date other people. Uh ok, I didn’t ask you about either topic. People care too much about your money and pot, hu? Not this girl. BYE Therapy Guy.
Well, the opposite happened with my husband. When I met him, I found him very puzzling but DID want to learn more. He wore those cowboy ankle boots. He did wear a very nice outfit–but the same one each time I saw him. He was totally bald. Oh, here’s a good one–he had no phone and got a pager so we could communicate. I kid you not, he would page HIMSELF at payphones. Yes, I should have stopped dating him–as that was kind of psycho. So these bad signs did alarm me, but they didn’t stop me.
The reason is that he was and is easy to love despite his many…uh freakish traits oddities. This guy is a real man. He is kind, genuine, and totally balanced. He knows how to deal with people, including me. Gentle, but solid as a rock. Also, he doesn’t get upset by ego maniacs, control freaks, or mean people. Nope. No one phases him–but also, around him, they are nicer than around others. I think it has something to do with the fact that he has no need to react to them, so their defenses go down… Rare guy here. Both in frightening and admirable ways.