Someone…Say This Outfit Isn’t So
Hi again. This is the outfit my husband wore last weekend to visit friends. I know the ladies are staring at the screen either feeling really superior to me (because their husbands dress much better than this) or a great deal of relief, thinking “Wow, I used to be so embarrassed by my husband’s clothes, but now I see that it could be so much worse.” I hope guys are thinking “Yeah, those clothes are pretty bad” rather than things like “Hey, where can I get a pair of those?”
In summary:
1) I don’t even know what this style of pants is called. But I do know it shouldn’t be worn anywhere other than a gym.
2) Guys: If you are determined to wear pants like these despite the critical fashion tip you just received, at LEAST be kind enough not to wear them on a DATE–in my marriage, a date includes visiting friends–yes, I’m aware that’s sad.
3) Did you notice the color of the T-shirt? It’s black. It also has a yellow and red logo on it. Black, yellow, and red T-shirts don’t even match themselves. Black T-shirts are nearly always ugly. I know, some guys like to look like rockers–well, I can’t really help those people. I’m just saying, this shirt clashes with its very own self.
4) Why would anyone choose a black T-shirt to wear with blue pants with white stripes? My gosh, my husband is an ARTIST. A REALLY GOOD ONE. He has a master’s degree in fine arts. He learned a LOT about color theory. Doesn’t it seem like that should involve how colors go together???? There’s just no excuse for this.
Despite all appearances (ha ha, good pun), this gray cloud does have a silver lining. For the past 5 years, my husband has only worn winter clothes, including in the summer in Los Angeles when it’s 110 degrees–I’m talking not one T-shirt, not one time–only sweatshirts, sweaters, and the two-shirt trick thing. It’s very bizarre. When we go to stores together, strangers have come up to me and said, “Wow, I bet your husband’s really burning up! Why’s he wearing a sweatshirt in this heat?” ALL OF OUR FRIENDS ask me every time we see them in the summer “Why’s he wearing winter clothes?” To say it confuses people isn’t quite the right wording. It confounds them–kind of like when my husband tries to tell jokes (see an example here). If you have lived in LA in the summer, then you know what I mean.
SO, the upside is that MY HUSBAND WORE SUMMER CLOTHES!!! I am amazed, overjoyed, and not quite sure where this new thing will go. Granted, every day this week, though I think it’s been around 80 degrees, he has worn fleece sweatshirts to work. Hey, let’s see what happens next weekend. Maybe he’ll break out a whole ‘nother T-shirt. I don’t really mind if it’s black, yellow, and red–I mean, I do, but my standards are pretty much rock bottom–anything with short sleeves will do.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Monday night, my boyfriend showed up to my apartment after not seeing me for four or five days. I had volunteered to cook because this makes me feel like I might make a good wife someday and I sort of hope to direct him on that train of thought. Anyway, I made pan seared swordfish, fresh quinoa, and sauteed green beans.
He showed up at the door in gray sweatpants, a blue sweatshirt, his ever ubiquitous timberland boots, and a knit corona hat.
I was wearing a blue ralph lauren oxford shirt and a denim skirt. I sort of, you know, made an effort to look cute for him. We were quite the well matched pair.
I commented later that he clearly had dressed up for me, and he said “what? this is my favorite sweatshirt!”
I took the hat and hid it when he wasn’t looking. I don’t think he’s noticed yet, and I’m hoping he never does.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Oh no. You did NOT just say your boyfriend wore sweatpants and Timberland BOOTS together, did you???
Sneaky way to go (on hiding that hat)! When I try to hide my husband’s clothes, he always gets all irritable about it. Also this happens when he misplaces them.
Oh, I should have mentioned–when he wore the outfit in the photo, I had a nice tailored button-up shirt (something from Talbot’s, very cute), simple black pants, and 2-inch heeled loafers. Stylish but simple. It did not go with his sporty, mismatched mess.
May 1st, 2008 at 7:11 am
He wears timberlands with everything, though thankfully he has the good sense not to wear them with shorts.
I went over to his place the other day and he was wearing a pair of white adidas sneakers. I almost fell over. There may be hope for mankind after all.
Funnily enough, he always notices what shoes I’M wearing, and comments on if he likes them or not. Yet he seems blind to his own choices of footwear.
May 1st, 2008 at 9:28 am
Have you two tried buying their clothes for them? Or “cleaning” the closets? Or positive reinforcement of good outfits? Not that I expect it to help, really, because you know. They ARE boys, but still. If they simply don’t have the horrors to wear, it does make it harder. Despite his inability to use a laundry hamper, I have managed to convince my beloved that he only really likes jeans and polo-style shirts. With long and short variations for seasonal applications. Also, I make sure that all of his “camping” clothes live in the camper. In another part of the city. It is my one victory. I boast of it for this reason only.
Good luck, my beleagured sisters.
May 1st, 2008 at 11:38 am
Well, have tried two of these solutions:
—buying things–he refuses to wear them.
—throwing away–I get lectured for weeks about the topic, the tones are kind, but the repeating…it’s better to suffer through the clothes…
Positive reinforcement–good idea. The moment he produces a positive outfit, I will reinforce it and see what happens. I think the last time was two years ago, so I will look at this as a long-term experiment.
May 1st, 2008 at 3:17 pm
that’s the spirit Holly! LOL
May 3rd, 2008 at 5:09 am
Positive reinforcement only works if he wears an outfit I like while I can see it.
This doesn’t happen often. Once he put on a dress shirt to go out, one I didn’t even know he owned, and that was great. last night he almost got it right, but he had on his old old ripped jeans and of course, the boots. I’d burn them, except I know he has like three other pairs waiting in the wings.
So if he would ever wear an outfit I LIKED…well, then I could tell him I like it!
As far as buying him clothes…I have in the past and I would again, but my major greivance is with the boots, and replacing those would be like replacing his dog.
May 9th, 2008 at 7:48 am
Ahh, the grey sweatpants. I think they are standard issue. There must be a secret man society meeting that present these to boys stepping into manhood.
My husband once wore them with a blazer! I mean he went outside with it and everything!