Top 10 Bizarre Husband Quotes

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My husband, the kind, handsome, wonderful man he is, definitely marches to the beat of a different drummer. A very different drummer. A drummer who can be annoying at times due to being so unaware of and forgetful of obvious things, yet still feel thoroughly convinced that he knows so much about everything. Especially health, driving laws, and child-rearing. About once every week or so, he shocks me with some bizarre question or statement. I thought I’d list the 10 examples that come to mind–ALL 100% TRUE.

1) Using a seatbelt is dangerous. Also carseats are dangerous for children. (We have children. He abides by the law, but that doesn’t make me feel much better about either of these statements.)

2) Driving the speed limit on the freeway can be dangerous. Sometimes you have to go faster to be safe.

3) What’s my mother’s area code? (As in, his mother’s area code.)

4) Do you spell our son’s name with a “c” or “k” at the end?

5) How old are you? (As in, how old am I. He has known me almost 11 years.)

6) How many years have we been married? (He would probably be at least two years off if he guessed.)

7) Who is Angelina Jolie? (He rattled off this question in 2005 when she’d been very famous for many years. Also he works in the movie industry and was about to begin working on “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” when he asked this question.)

8 ) You know the Airborne you gave me to stop my cold? I think it infected my kidneys.

9) I can’t apply for another job yet. I still haven’t gotten a response from the last one I applied for 2 weeks ago. (This helps explain why he was unemployed for a very long time during our early married years.)

10) It won’t be hard to have a 3rd child. You’ll be fine. (Of course, as he works 9am to 11pm-ish most days.)

PS. His jokes are even stranger than his quotes and questions. They also cause people to stop and do a double take. You can read about those here and here.)

3 Responses to “Top 10 Bizarre Husband Quotes”

  1. #8 is hilarious. Sounds like something my Dad would say.

    #10 – Men seem to think that having children is a snap. Have had that discussion with my hubby on more than one occasion!

  2. #2 is true, though, especially around curves. The highway is engineered so that when you go around banked curves at a certain speed the force will keep you from either flying off the top of the curve or falling into the curve. Unfortunately the government doesn’t want to spend the money on road maintenance so to compensate they set the speed limit lower than what the road was designed for. Therefore, especially if the road is newer, you could be safer going around a curve at a higher speed than the posted speed limit.

  3. Melissa, I will take your word for it;)

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