Guest Story: “Black Tie Optional” Is Not An Opinion
Sara’s boyfriend went to a dinner party that was “black tie optional.” Sara couldn’t go with him. This little lucky twist saved her mucho public embarrassment. Guys: PAUSE FOR QUICK QUIZ!
1) “Black tie optional” means _____:
A. The same as “tie optional”–wear a tie, or don’t.
B. Wear a tie, but it doesn’t have to be black.
C. Basically “tuxedo optional”–wear a tuxedo or something formal.2) When I have no idea what stuff means, I can avoid embarrassing myself by _____:
A. Guessing what it means and making a grand entrance or statement.
B. Ask my best friend what it means. He doesn’t socialize much, but he’s smart.
C. Do a Google search–this is reliable and only takes 5 seconds.
This guy picked options A and A. (Not the correct answers.) Later when Sara asked how the dinner party went, her boyfriend kind of grimaced and said that everyone else was so dressed up. He’d felt very awkward.
Rolling her eyes, she asked, “Well, you DID wear a suit, right?” He’s staring back at her all confused like. No, he reminded her, it was black tie optional, so he chose the option NOT to wear a tie. Or a jacket. He chose the other, more casual “option.”
Stop right here. See, he’s talking about imaginary options. He never checked out the meaning of black tie optional. When we make up or just try to figure out what things mean, rather than looking them up or asking about them, situations can get very sketchy–this includes dating, using instructions to build things, directions, finances, cooking, and of course, fashion. So basically, this guy failed to inquire, and he showed up to a tuxedo formal wear event wearing something like jeans and a button up pajama shirt.
Hey, not everyone knows what phrases like “black tie optional” mean. Many who do still hate getting dressed up. BUT the point is NOT “be classy”–goodness no, by all means, please don’t try that. The point is, don’t always try to guess. Just ASK sometimes. What’s the big darn deal???
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:22 pm
I’ve read through a large number of your posts today and could only come to one conclusion. Your husband and my husband are the SAME PERSON!
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Diamond Girl, that is one of the funniest comments EVER. Thank you for your great sense of humor:)
May 27th, 2008 at 11:01 am
That was a HILARIOUS post to read! Thanks for that!!
May 28th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
My firm has a formal dinner once a year and my husband rented formalwear last year. Then I went on the internet to get information about tying a bow tie (the infamous black tie) - found a site that cleverly printed in backwards so you could hang instructions on your shirt and read them in the mirror. Hurrah for the internet!
The average age in my firm is 27 and we have a business casual dress code so most of the male people who work here have NEVER dressed up for ANYTHING except a)the prom b)their wedding and then only because their girlfriend/bride made them. If they ever do look especially nice I assume that they are gay and/or their significant other picked out the tie shirt combo.