I Hope Your Spouse Is Not a Narcissist
Look out. Sometimes I get psychological. Ha ha. That may not be a real word. Okay, I get um psychiatric (?). Or perhaps I get psychic. Or neurological. Or neurotic. Sorry, see, it’s almost 1:00 am. I really should not be posting at this hour–I start telling jokes that are weird and scary. So, I need to tell you about an interesting but sad psychological phenomenon. Then I need to skeedaddle on to SLEEP before things get too crazy.
I have a friend who is a wonderful person–I’m talking near saint. But she was married to a narcissist. The word “narcissist” is simply a label for a certain personality type that is mean and controlling–but in specific ways. This isn’t name calling. This is just a personality type that is real and very difficult to deal with, whether in friendship, marriage, work, or any other situation. This post may be helpful to other people who are in close contact with a narcissist.
I have run into narcissists from time to time, but rarely, thank goodness. You have most likely met at least one or two in your life. They are usually very smart, funny, and seem GREAT at first. HOWEVER, the key trait of this personality type is that they leave nice people feeling mean, confused, and constantly questioning themselves even when they have done no wrong (but have been wronged).
The closer you get to a narcissist, the more you begin to walk on eggshells around the person. He or she starts telling you what to do and how to do it, and when you try to express your own opinion, this person not only can’t register your (or anyone else’s) opinion, but tries to make you feel stupid for having an opinion. They are impossible to argue with because they are controlled by the need to be right rather than by logic. They tend to use lies as “evidence” and get confused while arguing. They can NOT agree to disagree and will argue about the same stuff for years no matter how clear it is that they are wrong. (Normal people also do this, but not nearly to the degree a narcissist does.)
Should you work with, be friends with, or HEAVEN FORBID be married to a narcissist, this post may be handy: How to Deal With Impossible People. It’s SO funny, though dealing with this personality type is anything but funny.
June 11th, 2008 at 6:55 am
Whew, I didn’t see a post yesterday ( I checked, ALOT) so was afraid you had run off with one of those hot men who saved you the other night. Hope your car is better and I’m glad to have a new post.
Laurel
June 11th, 2008 at 8:54 am
I make up words all the time, so you go right ahead and be pyshcologicalistic if you want to.
June 11th, 2008 at 10:51 am
I’ve heard of wanting your women like you like your coffee, but like a sandwhich? I do not even want to think about what the mayonaise was meant to represent. LOL. You poor thing!
June 11th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Thank you Miss Thystle, I really appreciate not being the only person in the world who makes up words and uses them in public places.
(Well, George Bush also does it, so until this post, it was just kind of me and Bush, and I’m just not sure how I feel about that.)
But now, it’s no longer an issue. Because now it’s Bush, me, and YOU! Much easier to handle psychologistically.
June 11th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Hi Laurel,
Oh thank you! Perhaps I could conjur one of my dreams and in it, I could run off with the police officer who saved me…
But no…I will continue to love and be eternally faithful to and make jokes about my odd but lovable husband…
June 11th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Great post, as usual.
Is that a photo of you?
June 11th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Hi Jeff,
Thank you! No, it’s a stock photo of a total stranger.
I tried to find the most irritated looking person I could. Then when I found this girl, I thought, WOW, she looks like she could either be annoyed at a narcissist. But she also looks like she could BE a narcissist!
Pretty good, eh?