Husband Clothes

Very important day! Father’s Day.

Happy Father’s Day!!! My husband is getting the cutest gifts from our boys–homemade stuff. I wish everyone’s father could be the kind of father my husband is for our boys. He is an ideal father. Truly exceptional. He could not possibly cherish his children more, and they know it. He has given them a sure source of unconditional love, so much wisdom through all of their talks and his belief in being their #1 teacher through words and example, and lots of fun playtime!!!

Along these lines, I can’t wait to talk to my father first thing in the morning! I got him good gifts too–he will most likely not even realize it’s Father’s Day (he’s a scientist physicisty type). I hope he got them in the mail. He lives near Washington DC, and we’re in California. I sure miss him. It would be help if he could call sometimes. Oh well. I got a kind, fair, genius Dad whose advice and support has given me so much strength, confidence, and courage… I’ll just have to survive his non-telephone skills. Can’t wait to talk to him tomorrow morning.

Dads are so important.

Usually my husband gets home late. But now we’ve entered a whole new dimension of “late.” I used to think I knew what “late” meant. Now I’ve discovered that “late” and “early” are actually the same thing! The only difference is when the activity you reference BEGAN.

For example, when I say “5:30 am,” my bet is that most of you are thinking “oh, that’s EARLY.” But I’m thinking “oh, that’s LATE.” Why? Because that’s what time my husband got home from work two nights last week (after going in at 9:00 am).

I am afraid for his health. Well, not to mention mine. Try being 8 months pregnant with two wonderful little boys who make you run up and down the same huge flight of stairs 100 times each day because they are too little to do things like get snacks, drinks, food, and so on. Not to mention the two huge simultaneous projects I’ve just begun. That was dumb–either ONE of them will require full-time work hours. But taking both is my way of insulating us against the possibility of my husband getting laid off as many other people at his company have.

So, my husband is working on the movie “Watchmen.” You see the name, the actors–to me, it doesn’t look all that special. But DANG. Some people obviously think it’s very special because it is for this production that my husband has come home from 1:00 am to 5:30 am (only 2 nights though) over the past month. Maybe more. I’ve lost count.

Some people may say “Holly, it’s time to put your foot down.” But I take a Doormat Stance on this one. That’s an oxymoron that thoroughly explains my viewpoint. My Doormat Stance is: “It’s not time to put my foot down. It’s time for me to hold onto my medical insurance.” So, let him do what he needs to do. If he has a job, I’m happy. Though VERY tired. In summary, I am being a doormat about it, and I am fine with that right now. If the economy were superb, different story.

PS. It’s very important to me that everyone knows that I am not the LEAST bit jealous of the figure on that gal in the Watchmen photo above. Not even in my late stages of pregnancy. I don’t think sarcastic thoughts like “Look at that angular beanpole. Who’d wear a bathing suit with thigh-high leather boots with five inch heels in a FIRE. HA. Shows how smart she is.” I’d never say or think things like this–I’m way too mature.

I was very shocked when I read that Bill Murray is getting divorced. Actually, I never really knew he was married, though I would have assumed it if asked. But, my first thought was “Who would divorce Bill Murray? He’s SO FUNNY.”

Of course, that was a dumb reaction. I realize that marriage is based on much more than humor (especially in my case–for new readers, that’s not mean, my husband knows it and is very proud of his unfunny jokes that freak people out.) Anyway, as usual with Hollywood divorces, this news about Bill Murray is laced with all of the skeletons in his closet and his wife’s. So I read this stuff thinking “Say it isn’t so!” Bill Murray is one of my favorite comedians of all time. (Sorry, have I said that about 100 different comedians on this blog??)

Anyway, I first began thinking there’s more to Bill than meets the eye when I read the story about him riding around Sweden in a golf cart while drunk. It got me thinking, “Is Bill as normal as he looks?” Then I realized that he never really looked all that normale? He’s one of those kind of scary-turned-handsome because REALLY funny guys.

More on the golf cart shenanigans. Murray was in Sweden because of a big golf event he joined. While the drunk driving part is not funny, it does seem amusing that Murray STOLE the golf cart, which was simply on display in front of his swanky hotel. But see, he needed it. Because he had to drive it to a nightclub. Apparently he parked the golf cart at the club, as after partying, he began to drive it back to his hotel. This is when he was apprehended.

You can read the whole story here. This is my favorite quote from the article: “It isn’t illegal to drive a golf cart in city traffic in Sweden, but [the police investigator] said it is very unusual.”

Anyway, I read that he’s getting divorced, and his wife is making accusations about him. But also that she has major issues. It’s sad, but warrants contemplation. You see a guy like Bill Murray. It would be super easy to think, “Man, it must be great to be married to Bill Murray. He’s funny. He must be such a fun husband.”

Actually, I never think things like that. But pretend I do.  So many people are just not who and what they seem to be. So, the next time I am tempted to try to be “normal” , I am going to try to remember this–they all seem perfectly normal till you learn more about them.

I think I’ve mentioned before that my husband refuses to wear summer clothing. Not in the 90 degree heat in Los Angeles in June. Not in the 90 degree heat and 90% humidity in Northern Virginia in July.

Nope. In the middle of June in the blistering Los Angeles heat (well, not now, but usually), everyone else is walking around in T-shirts and tank tops. Then you see my husband in sweatshirts and jeans. Sometimes with a T-shirt and a sweatshirt under that.

Why? I do not know. He is a nice-looking guy. He has nothing to hide under his winter clothing. It is not a religious thing. It is not a feeling cold despite the heat thing. I have no idea why he does this.

I have tried to ask him why, but I never really get an answer. I usually just end up not really thinking much about it. But then one of my friends will ask, “Isn’t your husband HOT in that sweatshirt today??? It’s 95 degrees outside!” Then I become afraid that he might have a heatstroke or something and try to ask why he doesn’t want to wear a T-shirt, and the conversation goes nowhere, and I forget again.

But something happened this summer. He has worn short-sleeved shirts (without the weird sweatshirt under it look that he LOVES) TWICE this summer. I don’t know what to think. It’s like being married to a new man. What will he do next?

Look out. Sometimes I get psychological. Ha ha. That may not be a real word. Okay, I get um psychiatric (?). Or perhaps I get psychic. Or neurological. Or neurotic. Sorry, see, it’s almost 1:00 am. I really should not be posting at this hour–I start telling jokes that are weird and scary. So, I need to tell you about an interesting but sad psychological phenomenon. Then I need to skeedaddle on to SLEEP before things get too crazy.

I have a friend who is a wonderful person–I’m talking near saint. But she was married to a narcissist. The word “narcissist” is simply a label for a certain personality type that is mean and controlling–but in specific ways. This isn’t name calling. This is just a personality type that is real and very difficult to deal with, whether in friendship, marriage, work, or any other situation. This post may be helpful to other people who are in close contact with a narcissist.

I have run into narcissists from time to time, but rarely, thank goodness. You have most likely met at least one or two in your life. They are usually very smart, funny, and seem GREAT at first. HOWEVER, the key trait of this personality type is that they leave nice people feeling mean, confused, and constantly questioning themselves even when they have done no wrong (but have been wronged).

The closer you get to a narcissist, the more you begin to walk on eggshells around the person. He or she starts telling you what to do and how to do it, and when you try to express your own opinion, this person not only can’t register your (or anyone else’s) opinion, but tries to make you feel stupid for having an opinion. They are impossible to argue with because they are controlled by the need to be right rather than by logic. They tend to use lies as “evidence” and get confused while arguing. They can NOT agree to disagree and will argue about the same stuff for years no matter how clear it is that they are wrong. (Normal people also do this, but not nearly to the degree a narcissist does.)

Should you work with, be friends with, or HEAVEN FORBID be married to a narcissist, this post may be handy: How to Deal With Impossible People. It’s SO funny, though dealing with this personality type is anything but funny.

Last night, I FINALLY accomplished my 3-month goal of getting into bed around 11:30 pm. This was a HUGE feat and took me many weeks. I gradually had to work my way down from somewhere around 2:00 am (and I may be lying to not tell you how late I was really staying up, but let’s assume it was 2:00 am). Please note: This story references “hot heroes.” However, my husband is most definitely the the hottest hero in my eyes, despite that he slept and snored through most of the following events.

Then, just as I was drifting off to sleep, I hear SCREECHING tires, the LOUD and cursing voice of a male very near my window, and a super loud car motor SPEEDING off!!!! THEN I hear my neighbors talking outside (and one of them is veeery cute, so it quickly occurred to me that I’d better go make sure everyone’s safe, um hm). I go downstairs, and they give me the full story. Turns out cute neighbor guy–we’ll refer to him as My Hero from here on-was the one who yelled.

Turns out My Hero yelled curse words because two THIEVES threw a big metal thing through the driver window of MY car in attempts to get my GPS thing. (This was left in my windshield by my husband last time he used my car. I failed to remove it because I don’t like using it, or understand how it plugs/unplugs into my car.)

Um, have you seen how crashed up my car ALREADY WAS?? (If no, here’s a photo.) Thanks thieves. Anyway, THEN, I called the police to file a report. But WHAT LUCK, way, way, hot police officer came to take the report!!!! YES! So many handsome men paying so much concerned attention to me.

Then MORE LUCK. I called the car window repair people. Tomorrow they’re coming to fix it. No rental necessary. Labor, parts and all $275.

Only remaining problem: How can I ensure no one gets in and drives my car away before tomorrow? It is, after all, pretty much open to the public, if you will. Then, I had a total “Husband Idea.” LEAVE THE GLASS ON THE SEAT AND IN THE FLOOR. Perfect deterrent. No thief is going to sit on this much broken glass to steal a car that looks like this. And they are certainly not going to take the time to clean it. HA. Genius. Thanks.

I suppose I should be irritated about this situation, but actually I’m feeling very 1) proud that I got in bed at 11:30 pm, though it was 3:30 am when I got back to bed, 2) happy my husband was home “early” yesterday so he was here when this happened, 3) blessed at the two handsome heroes who protected me–you can call it “informed me of information” or “took a police report,” I call it “protected me”, and 4) grateful that no person or property was hurt except my already crashed up car.

What an interesting weekend considering my monotonous life. Perhaps things are heating up around here! I’ll keep you posted.

My husband told a funny joke this morning. To regular readers of this site, you know this is a rare occasion. To new readers, I do realize that this sounds kind of mean, but trust me, it’s not mean. What’s mean are my husband’s jokes, which are not funny, and which are told at the worst possible moments in the most embarrassing situations.

Oh, but about the funny joke…We were getting ready in the morning. He was looking for socks to wear. Unfortunately, suddenly this year, I have become unable to put up clean laundry. I do the laundry, but then it sits in the floor in a pile. I keep meaning to fold it each day. But I don’t. This has gone on for months. I have no explanation or excuse. It’s my goal to change this, but I keep thinking about, rather than acting on, the goal.

Fortunately, messes don’t bother my husband in the least, so he barely even notices the pile and just continues to fish clothes out of it.

So, he’s looking through this horrible pile of clean clothing to find clean socks. And I felt bad. I said, “Sweety, I’m sorry you have to look through this pile. I keep meaning to put up the clothes, but I keep not doing it…”

He said, “Hm. That’s terrible. I think I’m going to start a blog about this” and laughed. he he he. This was a reference to my blog about his bad habits. Get it? I have to say, not only do I think this joke was funny, but I find it hilarious that he pays so little mind to this blog though it pokes fun at him.

This is one of those things I love about this man. He never worries about petty things. He knows a joke is a joke. He has clean socks, he doesn’t care if they come from a pile or a drawer. He really worries about the “right” things in life–I guess this is why he’s so mellow and steady. I’ve learned a lot from his example, but there’s much more to learn.

See this jacket? Do you want it? I’m not kidding. I am going to “sell” it on ebay and encourage bidders to only up the price by pennies.

Oh, that sounds dumb you say? Well, it sounds dumb, but actually it’s very smart. That’s because this pilot jacket weighs…oh, I don’t know…like 50 or 60 pounds. It will probably cost $100 to ship. Who can afford that?

I’m going to make a little list of all the things wrong with this jacket, and if you still want it after this list, I will be happy to link you to my ebay posting:

1. This jacket is so heavy that all hangers crumble under its weight. Whether they are metal, wood, or thick plastic–no matter. They all break or bend downward more and more until the jacket falls in the floor and the hanger is permanently shaped like a frowny face. I’m sick of looking for new types of hangers.
2. No one really wears pilot jackets anymore. If they do wear a pilot jacket, it doesn’t have a strange greenish gray tint like this one.
3. My husband can barely fit one arm in this thing, much less two, yet he insists on keeping it. We have therefore paid to move it 9 times. Plus it’s so thick, it takes up like a tenth of my husband’s closet space. (But the other 9/10 of his closet is things like cords and nuts and bolts he doesn’t know how to use properly, so space-wise, I’m okay with it.)

I really tried to talk my husband into giving it away the last time a charity organization did rounds here in Hollywood. Despite not having worn this thing for literally 10 years, he looked TOTALLY shocked at this idea.

I asked, “Why? Why can’t we just give this thing away? You can’t WEAR it!”

His actual response: “This thing is worth a LOT of money, Holly.” Mhm. Okay.

Uhhhhh, I guess he meant it’s worth money to the local post office, as they will profit from shipping it. haahahha. I amuse myself. But seriously, can someone please embrace me while I cry over the fact that my husband actually thinks this jacket is worth money?

You know the spam comments blogs get sometimes? I usually only get spam about insurance, poker, and mortgage loans. I’ve been hoping for more varied spam comments for a while now. Finally, tonight my dream came true. I got the funniest spam comment ever! It was posted as a comment following my post on the pilot jacket. Here it is:

“Hello webmaster Wow what a fantastic article about Doll Clothes! Your keen insight into Doll Clothes is informative and creative. I look forward to reading other articles you have. Thanks.“

I’m so glad this poster liked my article about Doll Clothes. Because I work hard on my posts about Doll Clothes. Especially the one above about the out-of-style pilot jacket–that particular example of Doll Clothes is worn by a life-size Barbie named My Husband (oh, well 10 years ago). hahahahahahahah.

ha ha. When it gets late, my humor gets very unfunny and stupid. But I can’t stop writing because this spam comment is amusing me to no end. But I will stop. For your sake.

GeekySpeaky: Submit Your Site!

I just had a random memory of a conversation my husband and I had about 10 years ago. We’d been dating maybe 3 months. At that time, my husband was a 2D animator. Those are the artists who draw cartoons like Sponge Bob, the Simpsons, and so on.

I remember us talking about the future, and I said, “You should think about learning 3D animation. You could work on movies like that one called ‘Shrek’ that’s coming out soon.” And his face lit up and looked really enthusiastic.

At that time, my husband knew almost NOTHING about the computer. He even asked me if I knew how to install a program (which I didn’t, though I used a computer at the office every day).

But he got really interested in learning 3D animation and other computer artistic things. And then taught himself all these programs to expert level. It took a very long time. People thought he was CRAZY to think he could master that kind of complex stuff himself, yet advised us not to even dream of spending $30,000 for him to go study how to do it. (And we didn’t, as we were way too dirt poor.)

Anyway, he worked on one of the Shrek movies a few years ago. Wierd, hu?