He Asks, “When Will Shelves Arrive?”…Um 4 Days Ago
I keep meaning to write a post about men and vision. Did you know that studies have shown that men REALLY don’t have eyes for certain types of details?
If I weren’t in such a panic over this project I have to send in by Friday, I’d research it right now and link you to a great article on this fascinating topic. BUT, for now, trust me (and overlook the fact that I’m no doctor and barely know a thing about men or marriage)–men can’t visually perceive the same details women do. In fact, basically, I think one could say it this way: Men can’t visually perceive details. This is why when they vacuum, it looks like no one has vacuumed. Same reason as when they beam with pride after fixing dinner despite the grease dripping from the kitchen ceiling and smushed food crap all over the floor–it’s not that messes don’t bother men; it goes a little deeper–they can’t even see the messes. (These examples refer to other peoples’ husbands, as my husband has never actually touched a vacuum cleaner or cooked an entire meal. But I know all about this stuff–my friends tell me stories about when their husbands try to help clean…)
ANYWAY, a while ago I posted how thrilled I was that my friend is building shelves for us that will be higher quality but cheaper than IKEA shelves. He did so. We’ve had our wonderful new shelves for well over a week now. They are beautiful and I LOVE them sooooo much.
Several days ago, I mentioned to my husband that we’d gotten the shelves. Granted, this was a quick conversation, and he seemed preoccupied. But whatever. We’re busy, as you probably are–there’s just not always time for hour-long updates about stuff like furniture. Also note that the shelves are in storage closets. But the one of these closets is RIGHT BY OUR FRONT DOOR. And I left the closet doors wide open for 4 days so my husband could get a look when he came home (still very late). Not to mention, all of the junk that had been in the middle of our living room floor suddenly disappeared because it went onto our beautiful new shelves.
So, after literally 3-4 days of me beaming over our new shelves, my husband IM’s me, “So, did he bring the shelves yet?”
This is a man whose JOB is adding visual details to MOVIES. Do you find that scary? You would if you kind of counted on his income to pay your rent. But that’s okay. We have my income as well. Just as back-up, that’s reassuring.
July 9th, 2008 at 6:34 am
AHUH. I think it’s much like selective hearing - they have selective sight and the mess at home sometimes is filtered out.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:30 am
The scary thing for me about this blog is that I’m your husband and my husband is you.
Erm. My survival strategy thus far has been to make him think HE’S the crazy one.
July 9th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
HA HA! Queenalpo, good one!
I love it when the women in the relationships are the relaxed ones, and the men are the uptight ones nagging about stuff. I don’t know why I find that combo so entertaining. Maybe it’s fun to watch people who are different from me…
Oh, my husband has occasionally tried to make me think I’m crazy. But because it’s so abundantly clear who the “crazy” one is, this didn’t have a huge effect on me. He’s crazy, and I love him despite it.
hhahahhahahaa.
July 10th, 2008 at 8:32 am
Way, way too familiar to me……HA!
July 14th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
I’m cracking up!
When I’m looking for something in a drawer, I’m often conscious of the possibility that I’m staring right at the thing and not recognizing it. Weird. And I can’t ever recognize people in crowds.
So mostly I keep stuff in the same spot. Except my glasses, which I take off all the time. “SMS” means “seen my specs?” in my house.
Congratulations on the new baby - hope all goes well!
July 16th, 2008 at 1:31 am
Hi Jay!
What a sweet story (and also funny) about “SMS”!!! You actually have an abbreviation for the item you most commonly lose! So, the whole family supports your difficulty with the male vision thing…So adorable.
My family needs an abbreviation too. I think it will be SGSL “Stop Giving Me Suspicious Looks.” When MY husband can’t find things, he immediately suspects that I have taken them. It doesn’t matter what the object is–his earphones, for example, if he can’t find them, I get accused of taking them. (And of course, they are always in front of his face, I just have to point them out.)
Thank you for the warm wishes!!!
August 25th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
I found your blog recently and just love it. I want to repay you a little for all the great laughs and understanding! By the way, relevant or not, my husband is also from another country. Many things strike a chord…
Chatting about how men and women seeing differently, an elderly Japanese friend once told me that her husband’s way of seeing things was even stranger than that of most men.
She was in the next room while he was looking for something that was quite visible in the front of a drawer, on the right-hand side and he kept complaining to her that it wasn’t there. She kept calling out to him where it was, and he kept insisting it wasn’t there. Finally, in exasperation, she got up (haven’t we all been there?) and stomped over to point the object out to him, right where it should be.
He said, “Well, I was picturing it as if I were sitting inside the drawer and looking out!”
I swear, this story is all true, except for the stomping part. I projected that part from what I would have done. She, being a very genteel lady, merely walked.