This Fork Is Not What It Seems
Take a look at this. It WAS a normal, plastic fork. Until my husband needed to use it for something other than eating.
No, he did not use the fork to give people the bird. He used it for something slightly stranger and grosser. My husband has made MANY inventions for the same purpose. When we were first married, they scared me. I would find them lying around the house and be like “Oh my GOSH, GROSS. How can I stop this?” Then finally he began doing even grosser things, and this particular type of invention no longer phased/phases me.
So, I was trying to give you a chance to guess what it’s used for before telling you. Here’s the answer: picking his teeth. You know, like a toothpick. A few questions come to mind–foremost, why not just get a toothpick? As I said, he makes toothpicks out of many household items. My favorite way he makes toothpicks is when he rips up papers from my desk–occasionally important ones–and rolls them up very tightly. These things look like actual toothpicks. (But that doesn’t make it okay.) Then of course, he likes to leave the “toothpicks” sitting around everywhere.
My story is done, but there are a few afterthoughts that amused me. Kind of funny: As I was photographing the fork, my husband came in our room. His eyes got big for one moment, then he started laughing from pride that his invention would be “shown off” on the Internet. Also, I am not good at using “my” camera yet (i.e., the camera HE wanted for himself and therefore got me for “my birthday” 1.5 months late). So, after laughing aloud for a few seconds, he said in all seriousness, “You’re not doing this right. For close-up photos, you have to…” then showed me a button to push, then took a perfect photo of the fork.
I just have one question: how did he bend, rather than break, that piece of the fork? Also, what are those pieces called? I’ll ask him how he did that–it almost makes the invention impressive…Well, not really, but I tried to bend one of the prongs (or whatever they are called), and it just broke off.
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the pokey bits are called “tines” or maybe “tynes” (I’m a terrible speller).
Miss Thystle, I am so impressed. How could you know this word? Maybe everyone knows it but me (?).
Wow, I know where to go when I have picky vocabulary questions in the future.
I don’t know HOW he bent that fork. I have tried MANY times my whole life, just talking at the picnic table and doing something with my hands, but it never works. You should see what skill it takes to bend the fork and see if he can make millions of dollars.
Darn, I’m too slow. They are indeed “times”. And they bend rather easiyl because they are cheap plastic.
Oops, should I have said it’s because your husband is strong and manly? Sorry. I’ll remember next time.
Thanks for the chuckles.