Husband Clothes

Okay, there’s a lot of news to cover, but I have to somehow do this in 5 minutes. Maximum 10. Despite my total lack of self-discipline, I am determined to be IN BED by 11pm. True that has not happened since I was like 13, but it’s happening tonight if I have to take a valium. Ha ha! Just joking, I don’t take valumes. See, I don’t even know how to spell that word. (But several of my friends seem to always have valiums–is that normal? Doubt it.)

ANYWAY, MY HUSBAND IS BACK!!! Yaaaaaaaaay! And being so sweet. And looking so incredibly fine! Take it from me: If you’re getting sick of your husband working around the clock, acting weird, and telling un-funny jokes, just get him to go work out of town for three months. By the time he gets back, you will have forgotten all of his faults. Absence really does make the heart grow fond.

Next bit of news: remember how my ventures always fail, but it’s okay because I like risk-taking? Well, while I hate change and making waves, I must admit, it does appear that one (granted one of about eight this year), but nevertheless ONE of my ventures is proving to be quite lucrative. I am very shocked. And the funniest thing–it has nothing to do with writing, Russian, or teaching, the only real skills I have…But knowing me, it will fail soon–so I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it. I’m most likely just causing myself awkward embarrassment later. “Hey Holly, how’s that lucrative venture?” Yeah, the answer will be “You mean living in my car? Very enjoyable, thank you for asking!” BTW, no car crashes lately either. GO ME.

Anyway, moving right along. Immature news–I apologize in advance: there is a Hot Guy at work–don’t worry, as you know, I avoid hot guys at all costs–keep them away from me. I’m married. BUT I’m not dead, plus I can’t help that my eyes are able to see. So, they sometimes end up looking at this really cute guy at my job! He and I ended up in the same room today–worry not, I made a b-line out of there at the speed of light. I’m so pathetic–I think this guy is like 20 or something. Another oddity: Remember the Hot Dad from before who looked like my husband? (Wonder how he is doing?) Well Hot Co-worker…also looks like my husband. I am not sure what this means, but it can’t be normal. Something else to ask “the therapist” I’ll visit one day. Anyway, I’ll keep you updated on Hot Coworker. (Please note that the updates will be really dumb and boring…things like “Hot Coworker walked by my cubicle.” or “I think I figured out Hot Coworker’s name.” If the updates get too ridiculously boring, please let me know, and I will avoid posting them.)

DARN IT. I just realized that I totally missed my self-imposed deadline for going to bed. AS ALWAYS!!!! It’s already 11:21pm. How on earth did this one post take 30 minutes? Thank you so much for reading it. Good night.

Filed under: Cheating, Work