Husband Clothes

My husband bought a new exercise bike. It really caused some issues. This man now has a complete gym. Unfortunately most of the personal gym is located in huge piles of unidentifiable crap he keeps in heaps in the garage. (I avoid that place. I wouldn’t go in our garage if it was the last place on earth. My husband’s gym equipment is one of the reasons–stuff sticks out, and you can easily get hurt on it by bumping your head, stepping on bars that pop out of nowhere….it’s just dangerous.)

So, I can’t remember all of the pieces of equipment he has purchased over the last few years, just that they were all too big for our two-bedroom apartment. Oh, and also that he never used any of the equipment one single time.  That was important so I’ll highlight it here–not one time EVER has my husband used a piece of gym equipment he’s bought.

Basically, my husband’s gym equipment has three functions: 1) to cost us hundreds of dollars, probably thousands at this point 2) to take up a LOT of valuable space in our garage 3) to physically hurt me during the small period of time when the equipment is still in the home–this happens if I have to go to the kitchen or anything in the dark, the equipment is always in the way, causing me to hit my head on it or trip over it in the dark as I attempt to make my way through my home.

In a nutshell, I’m not a big fan of my husband’s gym equipment. Even if I were a huge fan of these “pieces,” I still wouldn’t say we could just place them anywhere in the home. This is not like a picture of my beautiful 7-month old baby, which would lite up any corner no matter how dark or any space no matter how cluttered. No, this is definitely the opposite. These “pieces” can ruin any room in an instant, clutter any space, and make any spot in the home an annoying and undesirable place to be. Even with sizable rooms, it’s not that easy for gym equipment to blend it.

Just imagine my surprise when I woke up on Sunday morning to a spanking new exercise bicycle that my husband had place IN MY DINING ROOM. People, my dining room is like 5 by 8.

See, he knew I would object to the bike in the home. (He thinks a two bedroom apartment is big enough to hold anything. I try to explain to him that this is not true–but as you can see, he doesn’t listen.) While I am grateful that he attempted to find a solution to the space issue of having an exercise bike in our apartment, I was really not at all grateful at the solution he came up with.

He thought he’s stick it behind the dining room table. The problem is that there is a shelf behind the table as well. So basically, the dining room now consisted of a table wedged against an exercise bike wedged against a shelf. Please note: The dining room is part of the living room and is the first thing you see when you walk through the front door.

Describing this is making me hyperventilate as I relive the trauma-inducing visual atrocity I experienced as I walked downstairs on Saturday morning. To avoid prolonged hyperventilation, let me quickly end this post: I forced him to remove the bicycle, but it caused a HUGE argument after which I thought he would divorce me–but at the moment, a divorce seemed better than having the bike in the dining room. I am astounded he actually removed the bicycle! It is now in the garage. I have since cleaned out a corner for the bicycle in the living room. I am very unhappy about that, but decided it’s better than getting divorced.

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