Husband Wants 4th Child–Don’t Think So
I kept thinking my husband was joking. RIGHT after we had our third child last summer, he kept saying we should have a fourth.
Now, when I say RIGHT after, I mean, as in a few weeks after. He wasn’t saying it as in “Let’s have the child in 9 months.” However, he did mean let’s have the child somewhere in the next 1.5 years.
Again, I thought he was joking. Or maybe that this was somehow his way of expressing how much he loves our third child and our first two children. I think if you’ve ever studied about the word “denial,” my thought pattern there is a perfect example. My husband says “Let’s have a 4th child,” and in denial that he actually means this, I think to myself in denial, “Oh, how sweet, this is his way of saying how much he loves our children. He doesn’t mean that he wants a 4th–actually, he means that he doesn’t want a 4th.”
And so in denial, I kept thinking this conversation was cute and that he was trying to flirt with me or something.
Until yesterday, and he got all serious about it. “Holly…we can’t wait long for the 4th. We’ll get too tired, and it’ll be too late.” I only caught the phrase “we’ll get too tired” and just looked at him thinking “you mean, we’re not already way, way, WAY too tired to have another baby???” OOOOHHHH, that’s right–you never actually HAD one. Yes, so YOU’RE not too tired…I see.
But I said no.
Yet he keeps asking me on a daily basis. He never listens. At least this question is cute. He’s also not listening when I ask him to stop going to bed at 3:00am every night. Perhaps if he would listen, he would see how wonderful life could truly be. But no, he won’t. He keeps talking about a 4th child and going to bed at 3:00am. (By the way, do you like the way I juxtaposed those two things together? I did that to emphasize how one reinforces the fact that the other will never happen. Like that? I know I do.)
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I can still remember the shock of what child number 3 did to our social life. We were now outnumber, but four? At home it was bad enough but at least everyone was contained within those four walls. When it was only two, wife had one and husband had one – life was good, safe, manageable. Then number 3 came – one hand for the diaper bag, one hand for the baby, one hand for child number two, one hand for child number three, one hand for wife’s purse, one hand for my fly rod – oh yeah I never got to use my fly rod then. And, I hated carrying my wife’s purse – the looks. But, if my math is correct three children at a minimum requires five hands, hmmm…wife has two and husband has two – missing one somewhere.
Holly send your husband grocery shopping alone with all three kids – problem solved.