Oh dear. I just watched Steven Tyler singing the National Anthem. And by “singing,” I mean…well, I mean singing, if you will. It’s right here for anyone who who’s in the mood to feel REALLY tense and worried before a few select song lines. Then to roll your eyes and feel kind of weird after hearing those select song lines.
Why does this guy irritate me so much? Could it be that I loved him so much in high school, and due to things like this, I actually irritate myself so much? Or could it be that he paints his fingernails black, something that only “Goth” high school (or middle school?) students should be excited about? I don’t know. He just really annoys me. It also annoys me that apparently he has girls lined up to go out on dates with him–I know, I know, girls like rich guys. But come on…there are rich guys out there who are much, much, much less annoying than this dude. (Ha! Effective word choice because remember “Dude Looks Like a Lady”? Yeah, guess who wrote it. Steven Tyler, the dude who looks like a lady in the above photo.)
SO, I really don’t believe in people bashing. I’m not sure why I am breaking my rule to bash Steven Tyler. I think this version of the National Anthem was just…ridiculous, and thereby pushed me over the edge. BUT since I don’t believe in people bashing, I am going to end this post on the most positive note ever. Here are some amazing, unique traits that Steven Tyler has:
- No matter where he is or what he is doing–David Letterman interview, singing the National Anthem, at a concert–Steven Tyler is always dressed like a pirate, yet always looks like a woman. Who else can manage that?
- Steven Tyler looks like that (see above photo), yet has had like 10 wives. Plus, by his own admission, countless lovers. That combination of truths is impossible–yet he somehow accomplished each despite the other.
- Steven Tyler is the father of Liv Tyler, one of the most graceful, beautiful actresses in all of Hollywood. Well, at least he has a legacy now. Aside from pirate costumes, I mean.
Mmmm, ok that’s all I can think of. Sorry for being mean. Also, sorry if you love Steven Tyler. I’m sure you have your reasons (such as that you really love pirate costumes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. Sorry).
PS. Ok, I just thought of an actual positive point!!! Yay! Steven Tyler wrote “Dream On.” (Sing with me, sing for the years, sing for the laughter, sing for the tears…YouTube link here.) Really, that’s a great song. AND I deleted the mean joke I just made about Steven Tyler thereby ending on a positive note! Yay!