I can’t believe it. I haven’t been swimsuit shopping for years. Last year I ordered one swimsuit online, got it, it looked stupid, and I just wore my old one (like 11 years old to be exact, but I never swim, so it’s like new). But anyway, here’s my news:
I found a bathing suit that looks totally good on me.
YES. Everyone’s going to be asking me out on dates when I wear my bathing suit this summer at our condo pool. It’s going to be crazy.
Too bad the only people who go to our pool are old ladies, and at least two of those are a lesbian couple. BUT there is also the really nice young Bulgarian, tanned, blond, strong 20-something-ish lifeguard who works at our pool. Well, I mean, he worked there last summer, so he should work there this summer too–don’t you think?
But dating conflicts with my vision of my future. I’m seeing lots of charity work, time spent with my children, and hopefully some type of business getting developed for profit, but maybe also for charity purposes. Nothing against really good-looking young guys, but I want to do fulfilling things–read, volunteer, learn new languages, study about religion…ok, I mean study about UFO sightings and NDEs (you know, near death experiences when people die and see the light and have a life review and learn all of the secrets about life–I just said “study about religion” to make myself seem cultured and upstanding after all this swimsuit talk…sorry I lied)…Where was I? Oh, yeah, so anyway, I like looking at the Bulgarian lifeguard sometimes, but dating has no meaning, no draw.
DANG IT. Of course I find my pretty swimsuit just at the time in my life when dating and romantic love cease to interest me. That’s not to say I will never date again, but I’m feeling pretty distinctly that the likelihood is low. Ok, so now I see we need an update on the men in my life. Let’s rephrase that: I see we need an update on the men who are not in my life. That entry will follow. Maybe right now.
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