Our condo pool is only open in the summer. Last summer there was this really cute lifeguard who worked at the pool. He was from Bulgaria. He had blond hair. He had green eyes. He had a lot of intriguing tattoos on his torso, which was very toned and very tan.
The lifeguard is probably in his mid-20’s, late 20’s maximum. We saw him almost daily because I took my boys to the pool to practice swimming–lest they lose the skills I have paid so dearly to help them acquire over the past three summers.
Was I happy about my attraction to this man young enough to be my son? Well, not really. However, important note: EVERY lady who came to the pool acted giddy, giggly, and all-around annoying while in the presence of Cute Lifeguard. Once there was even a retirement party full of ladies over the age of 55 and 60–one of the ladies constantly flirted with Cute Lifeguard, and all the other ladies joined in whenever the chance presented itself, which was rare since the one lady would NOT leave him alone for three seconds. I’d like to add that I, on the other hand, acted super cool and pretended to not notice Cute Lifeguard at all. In fact, I would suspect if asked, he’d say that single mom with three boys (meaning me) didn’t even realize there was a lifeguard at all. I mean, save that one time I waved at him and immediately tripped over the curb, nearly hurdling my toddler forward out of his stroller–thank goodness for stroller seatbelts (always keep them fastened!!!). That was the ONLY uncool moment. All other moments around him, I was so cool, it was like I had ice for veins.
But alas, summer ended, and Cute Lifeguard went home–I assume to Bulgaria (which I now know LOTS about, you know, not stalking anyone, just out of interest about the country and its dating and marriage customs and stuff). Bye bye, Cute Lifeguard.
So how uplifting to see…Just yesterday I was driving out of our parking lot, and a big huge moving van was parked horizontally across the lot so NO ONE could pass by, as I look up to ask the driver to MOVE so I can get my sons to their classes, GUESS who’s standing there moving himself in for the summer. That’s right–Cute Lifeguard. I guess he will be supervising our swimming pool again this summer.
I’m super happy about that. I will try to take a photograph of him and post it on this blog. Then everyone will want to visit my blog daily because, it’s just hard not to keep looking at him. But you know what? Other than posting his photo on my blog without his knowledge and zooming in on his abs and stuff like that, I will treat him as if his mother were at poolside on a daily basis. For example, I will not flirt with this young man because I am almost old enough to be his mother. I will not stare at him (unless I am wearing my sunglasses.) In fact, I will not look at him at all. Instead, I will bring my Albert Einstein book to the pool and keep my eyes pasted to it. When my eyes are not pasted to the book about Albert Einstein and physics, they will be glued to my Mandarin language books as I memorize vocabulary words in Mandarin while watching my boys practice their swimming strokes.
While all of the other older ladies in our condo flirt with and stare at Cute Lifeguard (pitiful really), I will be diligently planning my children’s summer camps, fall sporting activities, and healthy snacks and dinners and stuff like that. It’s going to be great.
But uh…I’m still going to wear my pretty swimsuit.
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