Husband Clothes

HE’S KILLING ME.

My husband took the day off today (this NEVER happens) to run several errands. He told me about this a week ago. So I quickly made a dentist appointment for him. Remember, he has a chipped tooth for 3 months and insists that this is perfectly normal.

I’m so glad it doesn’t bother him. I suppose if you compare it to the front missing tooth that he had for an entire YEAR, it’s really not that big a deal.

Anyway, I told him about the appointment this morning–they won’t even DO anything, just look and tell you what they’ll do next time. He starts insisting that chipped teeth are fine–why do I have to be such a picky and controlling wife. They’re HIS teeth after all.

He finally went. I can’t believe it. I kind of feel like calling NBC. Seriously, this is huge news. And it’s very happy news for me. The tooth won’t be fixed today. But at least this is a step in the right direction.

Have I ever mentioned how hot my husband is, no matter how much weight he gains or loses? When both of the boys were little, there was a time or two when they saw Andrei Agassi playing tennis. Eric pointed at him and started crying “Daddy come home!” Niko pointed at him and laughed while saying “Daddy, daddy, hahahahah.” I don’t really think they look similar (except being bald), but I do think they are both super hot.

Well, anyway, he has this really odd thing. He really couldn’t care less about looks, weight, any of that. That includes for me–which is nice, but I try to look nice anyway (maybe that’s why he doesn’t care??) When we first dated, I would comment about nice clothes or hairstyles of people passing by, and one day he blurted out “You think a lot about unimportant things.” Strange. But deep, and I like it.

So, he gains and loses about 15 pounds each year depending on his work cycle. When there’s a lot of work, he loses. When work is slow he gains. Right now he’s in the stage where he lost 15, and his jawbone is looking mighty chiseled, and the belly mighty flat.

Too bad about the chipped tooth and nose-picking…

Now, if you saw my husband, you’d think “normal guy, normal teeth” (or if you’re me, “hot guy, normal teeth.”) However, his teeth problems and hesitance to visit dentists have nearly lead us to divorce and devastated me emotionally time after time.

BUT fortunately for me, after 9 years of marriage, we’ve come a long way in the world of teeth.

The difference perhaps between my husband and yours is that when my husband breaks or LOSES a FRONT TOOTH, he refuses to get it fixed/replaced for about a year. Why? Because you dummy, the dentist will mess it up and make it worse. (How you can make a hole where your front tooth should be WORSE? I am not sure–you’ll have to ask my husband.)

So now he has a chipped tooth, one of the two front teeth (the 3rd dxxx problem with a front freaking tooth). For two months, he refused to go to the dentist. Finally, I threatened to do mean things to him, and I scheduled a dentist appointment for him, and he promised to go. He showed up 15 minutes late, and they wouldn’t see him (too many other patients). Then he refused to go to another. This means he has now had a front chipped tooth for 3 months. He couldn’t care less. He thinks it’s totally unobvious, yet everyone notices it.

It’s very embarrassing. I don’t want to go out in public with him. I don’t want to kiss him. I love him, but his chipped tooth is ruining my life and making me very sad.

Hi, two questions for you:

1. Does your husband or boyfriend pick his nose? Please someone just tell me that this is normal.
2. Does your husband or boyfriend pick his nose and try to pretend he ISN’T doing it even when he obviously is?

Mine does, and for nine years of marriage, I have begged, yelled, cursed, and screamed–NOT so he will STOP picking his nose (obviously, as this is a high-priority activity for him). Just so he might pick his dxxx nose somewhere in private.

But no. No, it must be in front of me and the boys, who are also now becoming avid nose pickers. I’m serious, I’m going to have to see a counselor about this. It’s affecting our sex life. As in, I don’t want that nose-picking nasty thing anywhere near me right now.