I usually like to (attempt to) be humorous, but I’m kind of in a deep mood. It’s odd how easy it is to say something snappy or have a negative thought about a loved one who’s right there with you. Then suddenly, when that person is absent, you realize how dumb all of those thoughts were.

I’m realizing how dumb it is that I almost divorced my husband over mowing the lawn about a month ago. Well, I suppose I didn’t ACTUALLY almost divorce him. But even that I wanted to. How dumb. He takes such good care of us. And his patience and steadiness are unmatched among all other people I know. And as I’ve mentioned many a time, he’s just so darn handsome. Isn’t it funny how you forget how loved ones look–whether they are attractive or unattractive, after long enough, you just see the person and no longer notice his or her beauty (or lack thereof)?

I just can’t wait until he’s home. Not because I need his help–due to his work schedule, he can’t really help too much around the house. I just miss him. He’s such a wonderful man.

What a rambling post! Goodness. Oh, I DO have stories as I said before. But because I’m having these SO-in-love-with-husband thoughts, it seems best to post them. A blog can’t be comprised SOLELY of jokes about one’s spouse. Well, yes it could. But not mine. See, I just proved it with this post. hahahahahah!!!

Anyway, today, we go to get a bassinet from an acquaintance of mine. The couple’s beautiful, beautiful 10-week old baby BOY is sleeping on a bed beside the bassinet. Their beautiful 7-year old GIRL and her cute 6-year old BROTHER are sitting on a couch watching TV. Let me add that the girl has looooong pigtails in her hair with a pink dress on. The 10-week old baby BOY has a blue onsie on.

So, we’re checking out the bassinet, as I share with the parents about how I have 2, soon to be 3 boys. The mother, my acquaintance, talks about how it is to have 2 boys and 1 girl. We’re talking about how cute the baby boy is. Lots of “boy” and “girl” talk going on. Meanwhile, my husband is checking out the bassinet. Then he made 2 trips to take the bassinet to the car, and we left.

On the way home, my husband asks, “So, is their baby a boy or a girl?” (Remember, the baby was lying RIGHT BESIDE THE BASSINET. In his BLUE OUTFIT.)

I answered his question and didn’t bother to tell him how odd it was that he could have possibly not known the answer himself…

Then he says, “Oh. Were the older kids also boys?”  Clearly, he missed the plain view of the older two children as we walked through the front door AND back out of it–the girl was sitting right by the door watching TV. And he also clearly ignored the entire conversation, brief as it was, the mother and I had as he stood beside us checking out the bassinet.

Interesting, hu? By the way, for me, the even stranger part of this story is that he actually drove us to get a USED bassinet and didn’t complain about it at ALL. In his eyes, used things are simply the work of the devil. Used things must not be touched. Used things must not be used. Especially by children. But see–not a single sly remark, scowl, or pressure to get a new bassinet instead. Nope. I wanted it, we went to get it. It’s puzzling, slightly alarming, but I LIKE it and hope it LASTS.

But we had a very amusing dialog today, and I can’t resist sharing it. I can’t help how this dialogue is going to make him look. All I can say is trust me–he’s a smart guy, despite everything about this dialogue.

Background: There were about 2 hours when I was thinking I might be in labor. (That was so exciting!) So I wanted to alert my husband just in case–it takes him an hour to drive home and stuff, so it makes sense to say “Hey, get ready, it may be time…but it may not.” SO, here’s the dialogue:

Me: Hey Honey, I think I might be having contractions. There’s a small chance it might be time.

Husband: OK.

Me: Don’t come home or anything yet. I just wanted to warn you.

Husband: About what?

Hahahahhaha. Does this dialogue bring any questions or doubts about my husband’s sanity to mind? What did he think I meant by “It might be time”? Time for LUNCH? Time for the morning MAIL? Sure, except that I had mentioned contractions, and I am almost 9 months pregnant. Oh well. At least he understood after I clarified. hahahahahah.

Update: It’s now the next day. I am pretty sure those were NOT contractions. Why wouldn’t I know this? After all, it’s my 3rd pregnancy…well, hopefully someone will inform me when I begin having contractions, as clearly, I’m not going to know.

I was very shocked when I read that Bill Murray is getting divorced. Actually, I never really knew he was married, though I would have assumed it if asked. But, my first thought was “Who would divorce Bill Murray? He’s SO FUNNY.”

Of course, that was a dumb reaction. I realize that marriage is based on much more than humor (especially in my case–for new readers, that’s not mean, my husband knows it and is very proud of his unfunny jokes that freak people out.) Anyway, as usual with Hollywood divorces, this news about Bill Murray is laced with all of the skeletons in his closet and his wife’s. So I read this stuff thinking “Say it isn’t so!” Bill Murray is one of my favorite comedians of all time. (Sorry, have I said that about 100 different comedians on this blog??)

Anyway, I first began thinking there’s more to Bill than meets the eye when I read the story about him riding around Sweden in a golf cart while drunk. It got me thinking, “Is Bill as normal as he looks?” Then I realized that he never really looked all that normale? He’s one of those kind of scary-turned-handsome because REALLY funny guys.

More on the golf cart shenanigans. Murray was in Sweden because of a big golf event he joined. While the drunk driving part is not funny, it does seem amusing that Murray STOLE the golf cart, which was simply on display in front of his swanky hotel. But see, he needed it. Because he had to drive it to a nightclub. Apparently he parked the golf cart at the club, as after partying, he began to drive it back to his hotel. This is when he was apprehended.

You can read the whole story here. This is my favorite quote from the article: “It isn’t illegal to drive a golf cart in city traffic in Sweden, but [the police investigator] said it is very unusual.”

Anyway, I read that he’s getting divorced, and his wife is making accusations about him. But also that she has major issues. It’s sad, but warrants contemplation. You see a guy like Bill Murray. It would be super easy to think, “Man, it must be great to be married to Bill Murray. He’s funny. He must be such a fun husband.”

Actually, I never think things like that. But pretend I do.  So many people are just not who and what they seem to be. So, the next time I am tempted to try to be “normal” , I am going to try to remember this–they all seem perfectly normal till you learn more about them.

[UPDATE: I was so positive readers would blow off this link to this love story--I BARELY posted the link. But you shock--more people clicked on this thing than Funny Quotes! The Funny Quotes page drives searches for marriage humor to this blog...Hm. What an interesting surprise. So really, we all just want a love story that ends well at the end of the day...No? I'm all confused now. But in a good way.]

I so enjoy this blog because it’s one of the only places I write for FUN!!! I like telling jokes, and love pondering psychology, especially psychology of people very different from me, like my husband.

BUT I actually do serious writing too. Most of it is academic and educational. And it would greatly bore you.

There is one story I submitted a while ago to a really nice blog about love and relationships that while serious, might spice this blog up by surprising you. It’s a LOVE story about me and my HUSBAND. And how much I LOVE him. No sarcasm or humor, just pure love and adoration, baby. Here’s the link–oh, and NO, that photo is not of my husband’s face:

LettersFromTheSoul.Com–Our Backgrounds Were So Different

Read fast because if my husband sees that I have linked a LOVE story about us to this blog, he will absolutely force me to remove it. Yes, that’s right–he will allow me to make fun of him online (and he also enjoys making fun of me, though to my face rather than in a blog, and usually when I am depressed or upset about something). But he will NOT tolerate sappiness attached to his name or reputation. NO WAY.

I hope you don’t find this story too repulsive. If you do, quickly move on to the next post about mowing. That one is full of sarcasm and fun. And reality.