Husband Clothes

My husband came home for a day while on his job out of town (for one day). It’s wonderful to see him. And absence is so good for the heart, as well as the eyes. He is looking cuter than ever! Of course, this follows a 2 week absence. So, at this point, in my eyes the man would look great regardless of his actual appearance. For example, he could have gained 100 pounds, and he would look perfectly sexy to me right now. Or, he could be sporting his non-shaved head look and still look great.

Note of explanation on that last sentence: Shaved head is the ONLY way for him to go–otherwise, hair gets out of control. He thinks “doing his hair” is unmanly. To him “doing his hair” would involve using any hair product including shampoo (he uses normal soap), combing, or heaven forbid blow drying. See, he needs to be “manly,” therefore when his hair grows, it is horribly uneven, sticks out in weird places, always looks dirty, and is super unattractive. Except perhaps today, when it would look absolutely marvelous to me…

Oh, but this post is about “many” Hot Dads. I will list them for you now:

• Hot Dad #1, my husband, as I just described in detail.
• Hot Dad #2–the one I posted yesterday (who looks identical to my husband). I haven’t run into him again. That suits me fine, as it gives me a guilt complex, though it is also exciting.
• Hot Dad #3 has appeared. But this one’s a little ironic and odd. Let me explain.

Yesterday, I was waiting for my son to come to the gate. I was just minding my own business, observing people. Then I see a guy, a child’s father presumably, running to the school gate–he was late to pick up his child. I noticed he was quite nice-looking. (And I thought to myself, “What’s up with all the Hot Dads? Am I boy crazy or something? Why do I keep noticing Hot Dads? I need to GROW UP.”)

Low and behold, after about four seconds, I recognized him. He’s a friend of ours. It took me a minute because he’d shaved off his 1970s geeky detective mustache. You know, the ones that looked like this:

Sure, it looks GREAT on Johnny Depp as Donnie Brasco (good movie by the way, though old and violent). But for ALL other guys, this is a HUGE no no–except Johnny Depp, they make all men look TOTALLY CREEPY. (Note: If you are a guy, and you have one of these, please contact me immediately for constructive, inspirational suggestions that will intensely benefit your love life. And they’re FREE! Just my way of giving back.)

Oh, so you can imagine my dismay when I realized that New Hot Dad was actually Old Friend Creepy Dad!!!!! WHOA. It’s always strange when you know someone well, and then suddenly become aware that the person is attractive. Hm. I wonder why Old Friend Creepy Dad decided to shave his mustache? It sounds mean to call him this, but I simply can’t continue to refer to a male friend guy as “Hot Dad #3″–that’s just asking for trouble.

I am usually with the times when it comes to movies. But in this one case, I’m way behind. Just in case there are other people out there who are as behind the times as me, I’m going to rave about this movie from 2005. The movie is Pride and Prejudice.

I saw it on TV two nights ago. I almost never watch TV (except UFO documentaries, which I love so much I’m not even allowed to discuss it, otherwise you will think I’m a crackhead). BUT now, watching TV is kind of fun because it’s an easy activity to do while feeding the baby. So, the other night, I was flipping through the channels–that’s pretty much how I watch TV (till I find a UFO documentary, then the flipping abruptly ceases and microwave popcorn gets prepared). Sorry. Back on track.

And there I see a beautiful little scene from an unfamiliar movie. Kiera Knightly is at a lively party with classical sounding violin music, dressed up in late 18th century clothing, hair all done up in curls. She’s giggling in a circle with a bunch of girls.

Then one of the girls says something like, “Elizabeth, one day you too will understand. Just the right man will catch your eye, and you will not be able to turn away.”

Next, a guy walked into the party. He clearly caught her eye. I was HOOKED. The movie didn’t end until 3:30am, and I still could not pry myself away any sooner. I had to catch every last moment. (Quick question: Why isn’t Matthew Macfadyen so, so, so, so much more famous than he is? He’s SUCH a convincing actor. I would watch anything with this guy in it.)

I might even need to watch this movie again. I didn’t even check the names of the screenwriter or director, but the way the story was presented was incredibly engaging. It portrays the chemistry between the leading characters more vividly that any movie I remember seeing.

The scenery, clothing, movement, music, and acting in this movie are superb–really takes you away. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. Now I’m in the mood to watch more good movies. New or old–please recommend some to me. Books too!!!

In this post, I discussed one of our dilemmas that my husband had over work. He had to make a really hard decision. He’d just gotten a good job in the LA area–wasn’t sure how it would go. Of COURSE, at that very moment, ILM offered him a contract to work on the new “Indiana Jones” movie (6 hours away in San Francisco). TOUGH moment that was–how do you turn down THAT? But he did. And it all worked out fine. Thank goodness. He loves his job here.

So this kept me highly interested in how “Indiana Jones” would turn out. I heard it was getting a bad buzz. Just saw an update on this blog called A Katt’s Life. Apparently the movie is kind of so so. That’s fine–I am happy it won’t bomb. I would have been very sad if my childhood adventure legendary movie series bombed. Okay, really it’s just because I want Shia LeBeouf (pictured with Harrison Ford above) to become super famous so he’ll be in tons of movies for me to watch.

Oh my, I just realized I am so much older than that guy. How embarrassing that I made that comment. Mmmm, well thank goodness that comment was NOT at ALL based on attraction, rather it was based on um…well, that he is such a talented comedic actor. And that’s it.

Speaking of Shia (let’s call him by first name, it feels right), why can’t I have dreams about him instead of about Vladimir Putin (as described here)? While we’re on this topic, why did I recently dream that I had lunch with Josh Hartnett? I barely even know who Josh Hartnett is. Does this make me a floozy? ha ha. Joking–it was just lunch. Josh was flirting with me mildly–that’s a relief. It’s annoying when guys flirt with me heavily, since I’m 7 months pregnant. (So funny this evening, no?). Plus, Robin Williams was there. And he kept trying to play matchmaker between me and Josh. Weird.

Actually, I think I need to stop right here. Everything I’m interested in saying right now is getting progressively less wholesome and increasingly more bizarre. I’m not too happy about that. Please forgive me. And enjoy Katt’s update about the new “Indiana Jones” movie.

Like most people in the movie industry, my husband has worked away from home for some projects (for months at a time). In each case, he could have stuck with work close by, but the far away work would increase his salary level and work skills. We chose the harder road, but it has paid off.

However, the relocations and work hours can be really hard on families. Once we moved back to Hollywood (for the 2nd time), my husband decided to stick to nearby projects.

Then OF COURSE, 6 months later, ILM offered him a job on the new “Indiana Jones” movie. (ILM is in San Francisco, which is 6 hours away from us. We just moved to Hollywood from there last year.) Good relocation, good pay, real high quality production. He’s worked there before and really liked it.

But he stuck by his decision and didn’t take the job. Now, the Indiana Jones movie is supposedly getting a bad buzz. So, I was thinking, hm, if my husband had sacrificed to go work on this movie, then it bombed, that would have kind of stung for him.

But uh, hello, how is that movie getting a bad buzz? It’s starring Harrison Ford, the most awesome man of all time. This man will still be hot when he’s 98. And I LOVE his success story (read it here)–student who made C’s and D’s and got fun of and bullied in school, tried acting but didn’t do well, became construction worker. Then “Star Wars.” Howdy.

And please don’t anyone even get me started talking about Shia LaBeouf who I felt was rather geeky until I saw “Transformers” when I discovered that Shia’s face, and name, grows on you and he is an incredibly hilarious and talented comedic actor. Also, his little stint of refusing to leave the Walgreen’s parking lot while publicly intoxicated (this part correct?) was one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard. The sheer fact that he was at Walgreen’s was actually funny enough. Then the SO ADORABLE mugshot–I fell totally in love with him. In a non-sexual way of course. But anything with him in it can’t possibly maintain a bad buzz.

Uhhhh, was there a point to this post? Oh, yes, I just forgot to point it out. hehhhhehe. The point was that my husband turned down that project for good reasons, and that worked out well. Now if he could also start making good handy work decisions, good decisions about visiting the dentist to fix his tooth which is STILL CHIPPED (front tooth, of course), good decisions about not getting traffic tickets, about not wearing the same pair of pants 20 days in a row…

Breath of fresh air. My husband fiiiiinally finished the project he was working on. It’ll be so nice to see him again. When he gets called in to troubleshoot at the end of a project (”end of project” = “crunch time”), this means working till 2 or 3 am every day 6 days a week for a month or until the project ends. Anyway, the movie he just finished working on is called “Body of Lies,” and it stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe. It’s about a CIA operative who finds a major lead to an Al Qaida suspect in Jordan.

Okay, I promised myself next time I commented on a project of my husband’s I would at LEAST describe the plot of the movie before discussing the actors in it (notice I did not say actresses. Sorry guy readers. I like discussing actors, especially, but not exclusively, hot ones). Moving right along, to me, Russell Crowe is one of those sneak-up-on-you hot guys. You look at him and think “hm, you look normal, as in identical to my brother-in-law except chubby.” Then as you watch his phenomenal acting, he gets more and more handsome. Then when you learn about his perplexing temper tantrums, he gets extremely intriguing, but makes you very thankful that you aren’t married to a movie star.

On the other hand, there’s Leo. (May I call Leonardo DiCaprio, like he’s my neighbor? Okay, thanks.) He’s one of those why-does-everyone-love him so much types. He’s kind of cute, but also kind of odd looking. Until you watch the movie he starred in with Matt Damon called “The Departed.”

Note on the movie “The Departed” (not to be confused with “Body of Lies,” the new movie that hasn’t been released.) Holy macanoli, you wanna watch one INTENSE movie–look out. (Please excuse the fact that I just used the term holy macanoli–I use terms like that on this blog to avoid cursing like a sailor as I do in real life. One of the many things I’m working on.) The intensity in “The Departed” is generated by Leo’s unbelievably convincing job of portraying his desperate, disadvantaged character. You will definitely be awed by his talent if you watch this movie. (And, girl note: If you didn’t think he was hot before, you’ll be his #1 groupie after you see the love story, namely his naked torso in makeout scenes, in this movie). You can get this movie from Amazon here.

Oh, uh, but back to my husband. Seriously, it’ll be so nice to see him again. And to stop worrying about his health. (I have this paranoia about no sleeping + too much working = heart attacks. If I were to mention this, he would make some really annoying joke, but…well, I can stop worrying now regardless, at least for a while).

I have mentioned before my odd (and embarrassing) dreams about hot movie stars wanting to date me. Well, now it’s gone to a whole new level. Last night I dreamed that Vladimir Putin wanted to date me. Do I think about Putin in my daily life? Almost never. Do I think he’s hot? Never really thought about it, but now that you mention it, well, he’s not…Hold on, I’m not getting cornered into saying Vladimir Putin is hot. But who cares if he’s hot? That is no excuse to be having dreams about dating a world leader. Having this type of dream definitely means I’m strange, and not in an intriguing, sophisticated type way… That makes me very sad, but there’s really no time to dwell on it right now.

ANYWAY, we went on a date. Strange detail: the date took place in a rundown cafeteria. Do you like Russian stuff? If so, you know that Putin is rumored to be the richest man in all of Europe due to the way he’s handled Russia’s vast oil supplies and Europe’s dependency on it. I don’t think a cafeteria would be his first choice for a date. Probably something more along the lines of a chartered jet to his favorite private little hub in the Swiss Alps. BUT for a date with me, rundown public cafeteria–yet another unhealthy sign of the state of my self-esteem.

So, Putin kept trying to hold my hand, and I didn’t like it. Then he kept trying to ask me on another date, and I kept saying, “Aren’t you married?” But got no answer. It was a very awkward date, and I kept wanting to talk about fun stuff, but Putin was just trying to say smart things and mean things about other world leaders. Also, he did look handsome, but his pants were pulled too high, which was extremely bothersome.

Anyway, the dream ended without closure, and that was it. Of course, while awake, I know the biggest billionaire power mongrel in Europe would sooner spit in my direction than ask me out. I promise if you met me, you would think I’m totally normal, though I do realize that it must seem I am attention-starved, have ego issues, or just am really flaky or just plain stupid.

That said, I would be happy to hear word from any counselors, neurologists, or dream experts who can heal me. Thanks.

PS. If you do enjoy keeping up with Russian headlines or any headlines for that matter, you may have heard of Kindle–if no, click here to learn more. It’s a portable electronic device that stores all kinds of subscriptions to newspapers, magazines, etc.

I am not sure why this happens. Perhaps there are a few psychoanalyst readers out there who have some theories. Perhaps it happened last night because my husband was very cranky all weekend (which was very disconcerting to me, but I’ve moved on).

Anyway, for whatever reason, about 3-4 times a year, I have these marvelous, realistic dreams about sizzling-hot moviestars who want to date me!!! Examples have included Brad Pitt, Eminem (I know, kind of old news, but still, he’s hot), and as of today, Heath Ledger.

I LOVE these dreams. In fact, I love them so much that when they happen, I can’t force myself to wake up in the morning. Not even to take my children to school on time. It’s horrible–I will not make any excuses. Instead, I will develop strategies to somehow make myself snap out of these dreams in the morning–because school is important.

OH, but here’s the really funny part–the moviestars and I don’t actually go on dates. The moviestars try really hard to talk me into going out with them, but I refuse. Yet, we often KISS in the dream. That’s correct–we KISS, yet don’t GO OUT. Yes, I know, now you think I am psycho. I don’t blame you. Every time I wake up from one of these dreams, I wonder if I have huge ego issues–such as, do I secretly think all men are totally in love with me? But NO, that’s just not me. I’m sure that’s not the cause.

Hm. I should mention that I am/was a huge Heath Ledger fan and very sad that he is gone. I know, I have an odd way of working it out. But I have a newly found determination to watch each and every of his movies. Also to appreciate my husband, no matter how cranky or poorly dressed or ungroomed he may be on any given day. Things happen unexpectedly. And I need to remember that.

Remember that Mother’s Day is May 11, 2008. Order your gifts soon! I have placed excellent coupon codes to nice stores in the Coupon & Sales link above (or you can click here). To use them, just click on the ads.

My husband’s job involves working on movies. Yet he can barely name a single famous actor or actress. I’m not sure what that means. It could mean we need to visit a neurologist. Or that he needs to do some serious brushing up on his celebrity gossip–get with it guy!!!! Let me know what you think after reading this true story.

Does everyone remember the HUGE hype that came out about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt shortly before the release of “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”? (In case you are like my husband, I am referring to the story about the divorce between Pitt and Aniston and the alleged affair between Pitt and Jolie). So, right as this story came out, my husband began working on the movie “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” (Not as an actor, but in an artistic role.) If you remember, everyone everywhere was talking about this scandal. It was all over the internet. It was even on primetime news. So I said to him, “Oh cool, that’s the movie that Brad Pitt and Angelina star in together!”

My husband asked: “Who’s Angelina?”

Naturally, I was confused. Then assumed this was one of his jokes that aren’t funny. I said, “Uh, Angelina JOLIE.”

He said, “Who’s Angelina Jolie?”

That was not funny, but nevertheless, he was not joking. He now claims that knew her FACE, just not her NAME. However, a while later, he was working in a studio in Los Angeles and ran into Natalie Portman. (They didn’t say hi or anything, just stood near each other for a few seconds.) He DID at least know she’s famous, and knew she was in “Star Wars,” but was unable to identify her by name. There are other famous people he has run into. But I couldn’t even figure out who they were.

This story illustrates a few points. First, it shows that my husband is out of touch in a way you and I never thought possible. Secondly, it shows that there are some people who really, TRULY aren’t phased by beauty, money, fame, and so on. BUT look out! These people will also not care about their own beauty, money, or fame. So, husband doesn’t know the name of beautiful women=husband doesn’t feel the need to fix chipped tooth for beauty’s sake. Or husband doesn’t care about money=husband thinks it’s fine to have no job for a long time.

But I made my choice, and despite all of the oddities, I’m very happy with having a husband who’s moronic in some ways but very real and deep in others. That said, I sincerely hope he doesn’t freak me out like that again anytime soon.

Happy Easter, everyone! I’m thinking a lot about how lucky I am today–the blessings and gifts I have. Let me warn you though, when I post about the topics of my husband + gifts, it’s going to get a little annoying.

Before I tell my annoying (ok, infuriating) story, let me mention that if you need gift ideas or quick shopping for your guy’s birthday or any other special occasion–please visit the Husband Clothes gift store (link also to the right). It’s powered by Amazon, and you can get really good electronics and hard-to-find gifts (like a “sexy” Borat green swim suit–but this is not one of my picks–I’m just saying it’s available at the store:)

As much as I LOVE buying and giving gifts, I must admit that buying gifts for MY husband is sheer torture. Why? Because he is a picky freaking BABY. He hasn’t gotten the message–one that is quite pertinent today actually–gifts are given from LOVE, so no matter what the gift, we are lucky to be cherished. Also, not everyone gets gifts. Even if you don’t LIKE a gift, you pretend to like it. You exchange it. You store it somewhere.

OH, not my husband. No siree. His worst nightmare is getting a gift that isn’t EXACTLY what he’s always dreamed of (from me, I mean–from others, all gifts are special) . Do realize that the gifts he gets me are also exactly what he has always dreamed of having for himself–described in detail here–that is, on the rare occasion that I actually receive a gift from him–about 4 times in 9 years of marriage. Thanks:) Just have fun reviewing this conversation that happened right before our anniversary due to my not choosing the “correct” gift:

Me: Honey, I got you a great gift for our anniversary. You are going to LOVE it! Did you get me anything yet?

Him: What is it? [ignores question as to whether he purchased gift for me]

Me: I don’t want to tell you. It’s a surprise.

Him: Yeah, but I might not like it. You should tell me, so I can tell you if I like it. This way, if I don’t like what you got, you can get me something better.

After the last disappointing gift I got him, he asked me to just give him money next time. Uh, he earns most of our money. So, I’m going to give him HIS money to buy his own gift? I tried it. The “gift” he got himself was cables, long, orange cables, and like 50 of them–$200 worth to be exact. They were never used. Sure, that’s what he wanted. Well, sorry, I want something more “gifty.” Also something that will not take up my VERY valuable hall closet space. And yes, I have tried to get him to TELL me what he wants, so I can buy it. In these cases, he “couldn’t think of it right now” for weeks, or the ideal gift for me to buy costs $500-$1000. Perhaps when you own your own film studio, buster.

Maybe I will send him to the Husband Clothes gift store to buy his own dumb gifts from now on. Nothing there costs $1000, and he can just use a darn credit card instead of me giving him a bunch of his own money…For heaven sakes–see why I call it torture?? Word to men: please, appreciate your gifts.