Husband Clothes

In this post, I discussed one of our dilemmas that my husband had over work. He had to make a really hard decision. He’d just gotten a good job in the LA area–wasn’t sure how it would go. Of COURSE, at that very moment, ILM offered him a contract to work on the new “Indiana Jones” movie (6 hours away in San Francisco). TOUGH moment that was–how do you turn down THAT? But he did. And it all worked out fine. Thank goodness. He loves his job here.

So this kept me highly interested in how “Indiana Jones” would turn out. I heard it was getting a bad buzz. Just saw an update on this blog called A Katt’s Life. Apparently the movie is kind of so so. That’s fine–I am happy it won’t bomb. I would have been very sad if my childhood adventure legendary movie series bombed. Okay, really it’s just because I want Shia LeBeouf (pictured with Harrison Ford above) to become super famous so he’ll be in tons of movies for me to watch.

Oh my, I just realized I am so much older than that guy. How embarrassing that I made that comment. Mmmm, well thank goodness that comment was NOT at ALL based on attraction, rather it was based on um…well, that he is such a talented comedic actor. And that’s it.

Speaking of Shia (let’s call him by first name, it feels right), why can’t I have dreams about him instead of about Vladimir Putin (as described here)? While we’re on this topic, why did I recently dream that I had lunch with Josh Hartnett? I barely even know who Josh Hartnett is. Does this make me a floozy? ha ha. Joking–it was just lunch. Josh was flirting with me mildly–that’s a relief. It’s annoying when guys flirt with me heavily, since I’m 7 months pregnant. (So funny this evening, no?). Plus, Robin Williams was there. And he kept trying to play matchmaker between me and Josh. Weird.

Actually, I think I need to stop right here. Everything I’m interested in saying right now is getting progressively less wholesome and increasingly more bizarre. I’m not too happy about that. Please forgive me. And enjoy Katt’s update about the new “Indiana Jones” movie.

[UPDATE: I was so positive readers would blow off this link to this love story–I BARELY posted the link. But you shock–more people clicked on this thing than Funny Quotes! The Funny Quotes page drives searches for marriage humor to this blog…Hm. What an interesting surprise. So really, we all just want a love story that ends well at the end of the day…No? I’m all confused now. But in a good way.]

I so enjoy this blog because it’s one of the only places I write for FUN!!! I like telling jokes, and love pondering psychology, especially psychology of people very different from me, like my husband.

BUT I actually do serious writing too. Most of it is academic and educational. And it would greatly bore you.

There is one story I submitted a while ago to a really nice blog about love and relationships that while serious, might spice this blog up by surprising you. It’s a LOVE story about me and my HUSBAND. And how much I LOVE him. No sarcasm or humor, just pure love and adoration, baby. Here’s the link–oh, and NO, that photo is not of my husband’s face:

LettersFromTheSoul.Com–Our Backgrounds Were So Different

Read fast because if my husband sees that I have linked a LOVE story about us to this blog, he will absolutely force me to remove it. Yes, that’s right–he will allow me to make fun of him online (and he also enjoys making fun of me, though to my face rather than in a blog, and usually when I am depressed or upset about something). But he will NOT tolerate sappiness attached to his name or reputation. NO WAY.

I hope you don’t find this story too repulsive. If you do, quickly move on to the next post about mowing. That one is full of sarcasm and fun. And reality.

It’s 1:30am on Friday night. I waited all day for my husband to tell me whether he has to work tomorrow. And Monday. (I can’t make weekend plans without this info.) He has to do stuff for a trailer being released in a week or two, so his schedule is crazy again, but not for long.

My husband IM’d me an hour ago that he’s coming home. So I asked, “Are you working tomorrow???”

His response: “Hm. They were supposed to tell me. But they didn’t. Hey, do you know if I’m supposed to work on Monday?”

I don’t think I need to explain the many things wrong with that response. I should mention that he thinks I might know his Monday schedule because he forwarded me some message a week ago about it. But uh, I don’t read boring stuff like that, so while I noticed Monday was mentioned, I have no idea what the details were. Oh well, he’ll catch on eventually and stop relying on me for his schedule info.

So, in a nutshell, it’s already Saturday, yet I have no idea what we’re doing Saturday. Or Monday. But Sunday, I can plan for, as I know my husband will be home. I plan that my husband will sleep till 3pm then say he’s too tired to do anything. But I’m going to be rebellious. We’re doing something fun on Sunday. And so help me, if I have to use pepperspray to get that man out of bed early, so be it.

But where will we go? I’m thinking Point Dume in Malibu. I heard you can see live starfish there! Um, the fact that Brad Pitt lives kind of close to there and I’m dying to see his house has nothing to do with this idea. Does anyone know a good site with maps of movie star homes? I don’t need it for our fun family trip on Sunday. I’m just asking out of curiosity. Also does anyone know where Owen Wilson’s house in Santa Monica is? NOT because it’s on the way to Malibu, and I want to see it. PLEASE. That would be so immature. No, um. See, I just want to AVOID going near the homes of any movie stars along the way. You know, to respect their privacy. And stuff like that. Thanks.

Like most people in the movie industry, my husband has worked away from home for some projects (for months at a time). In each case, he could have stuck with work close by, but the far away work would increase his salary level and work skills. We chose the harder road, but it has paid off.

However, the relocations and work hours can be really hard on families. Once we moved back to Hollywood (for the 2nd time), my husband decided to stick to nearby projects.

Then OF COURSE, 6 months later, ILM offered him a job on the new “Indiana Jones” movie. (ILM is in San Francisco, which is 6 hours away from us. We just moved to Hollywood from there last year.) Good relocation, good pay, real high quality production. He’s worked there before and really liked it.

But he stuck by his decision and didn’t take the job. Now, the Indiana Jones movie is supposedly getting a bad buzz. So, I was thinking, hm, if my husband had sacrificed to go work on this movie, then it bombed, that would have kind of stung for him.

But uh, hello, how is that movie getting a bad buzz? It’s starring Harrison Ford, the most awesome man of all time. This man will still be hot when he’s 98. And I LOVE his success story (read it here)–student who made C’s and D’s and got fun of and bullied in school, tried acting but didn’t do well, became construction worker. Then “Star Wars.” Howdy.

And please don’t anyone even get me started talking about Shia LaBeouf who I felt was rather geeky until I saw “Transformers” when I discovered that Shia’s face, and name, grows on you and he is an incredibly hilarious and talented comedic actor. Also, his little stint of refusing to leave the Walgreen’s parking lot while publicly intoxicated (this part correct?) was one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard. The sheer fact that he was at Walgreen’s was actually funny enough. Then the SO ADORABLE mugshot–I fell totally in love with him. In a non-sexual way of course. But anything with him in it can’t possibly maintain a bad buzz.

Uhhhh, was there a point to this post? Oh, yes, I just forgot to point it out. hehhhhehe. The point was that my husband turned down that project for good reasons, and that worked out well. Now if he could also start making good handy work decisions, good decisions about visiting the dentist to fix his tooth which is STILL CHIPPED (front tooth, of course), good decisions about not getting traffic tickets, about not wearing the same pair of pants 20 days in a row…

Breath of fresh air. My husband fiiiiinally finished the project he was working on. It’ll be so nice to see him again. When he gets called in to troubleshoot at the end of a project (”end of project” = “crunch time”), this means working till 2 or 3 am every day 6 days a week for a month or until the project ends. Anyway, the movie he just finished working on is called “Body of Lies,” and it stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe. It’s about a CIA operative who finds a major lead to an Al Qaida suspect in Jordan.

Okay, I promised myself next time I commented on a project of my husband’s I would at LEAST describe the plot of the movie before discussing the actors in it (notice I did not say actresses. Sorry guy readers. I like discussing actors, especially, but not exclusively, hot ones). Moving right along, to me, Russell Crowe is one of those sneak-up-on-you hot guys. You look at him and think “hm, you look normal, as in identical to my brother-in-law except chubby.” Then as you watch his phenomenal acting, he gets more and more handsome. Then when you learn about his perplexing temper tantrums, he gets extremely intriguing, but makes you very thankful that you aren’t married to a movie star.

On the other hand, there’s Leo. (May I call Leonardo DiCaprio, like he’s my neighbor? Okay, thanks.) He’s one of those why-does-everyone-love him so much types. He’s kind of cute, but also kind of odd looking. Until you watch the movie he starred in with Matt Damon called “The Departed.”

Note on the movie “The Departed” (not to be confused with “Body of Lies,” the new movie that hasn’t been released.) Holy macanoli, you wanna watch one INTENSE movie–look out. (Please excuse the fact that I just used the term holy macanoli–I use terms like that on this blog to avoid cursing like a sailor as I do in real life. One of the many things I’m working on.) The intensity in “The Departed” is generated by Leo’s unbelievably convincing job of portraying his desperate, disadvantaged character. You will definitely be awed by his talent if you watch this movie. (And, girl note: If you didn’t think he was hot before, you’ll be his #1 groupie after you see the love story, namely his naked torso in makeout scenes, in this movie). You can get this movie from Amazon here.

Oh, uh, but back to my husband. Seriously, it’ll be so nice to see him again. And to stop worrying about his health. (I have this paranoia about no sleeping + too much working = heart attacks. If I were to mention this, he would make some really annoying joke, but…well, I can stop worrying now regardless, at least for a while).

Does your guy seem to get a lot of traffic tickets? For example, does he get traffic tickets that make your car insurance twice that of any other person you know? I would LOVE to tell you exactly how much we pay in auto insurance per year, but I have to pretend like I don’t remember. That’s what I tell anyone who asks because I am SO ASHAMED.

I am very happy to say that over 9 years of marriage, my husband has gone from receiving approximately 3 tickets per year to about one every other year. Not bad–I mean, as long as your standards are bottom of the barrel, as mine are.

My favorite ticket was the time he came to California about four years ago. We were soooo poor. We couldn’t pay for a room/apartment near his job, couldn’t figure out the bus schedule (or even if buses even went to his job location), and couldn’t afford to rent a car. SO, he bought this $500 clunker that was like 20 years old. He said insurance came with the car. I asked him to double check as that sounded strange. (He said he trusted the used car salesman–always prudent.) He mentioned that he needed to get the tail light fixed too. Soon after, he said he’d taken care of these things. Mm hm.

One week after getting the car, he got pulled over. $200 ticket for broken tail light. And the officer was going to give him a $1500 ticket for no insurance, plus mandatory court appearance. (My reaction: GOOD MOVE HONEY. Did the officer mention if we can pay that traffic ticket with a credit card?)

My husband explained to the officer that the car dealership had told him insurance was part of the package but he didn’t have the documentation on hand. So the very, very, very, extremely, SO VERY KIND police officer gave my husband the benefit of the doubt, omitted the mandatory court appearance, and made the ticket $200 (tail light) + $300 (no evidence of insurance or something like this). Whew! (Are you a police officer? If so, I love you because of this incident. In a nonsexual way of course, though has anyone noticed how attractive police officers tend to be? WOW.)

So my husband fixed everything, but he continued to get tickets. Till one day a judge blessed him out in court over a wreckless driving (due to speeding) ticket. I have no idea what was said, but after that, the tickets suddenly stopped. Now only one ticket every other year. I count my lucky stars every night. I love my husband, and I feel much better about his safety now. And our cars. And our finances. And our marriage.

PS. Are you a judge? If so, you may be the one who fixed my husband’s driving problem, so I will do anything for you that is morally sound… Need a free babysitter for your children? Need a maid? Need some one to do your online shopping for you? Need money? I’ll send any sum. You saved me thousands of dollars by scaring my husband. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Hi! I have gotten some very interesting emails this week. My personal favorites are the ones where guys are asking about my husband’s job. Nothing about girls or marriage. No, no. Just questions about jobs and money.

Alrighty. I love talking about jobs. In fact, I have the very odd hobby of job searching. I have a full-time writing job (from home). It pays nicely, and I love it immensely. So, I don’t need a job. But I NEED to job search. It’s probably related to filling a dysfunctional void of some sort–kind of like alcoholism, except instead of never getting enough whiskey, I never get enough job searching. (I just reread that, and it frightened me. Oh well.)

Um…yes, this brings me to my story about my husband’s job. OH, it’s related to animation. (Due to that detail, he may force me to remove this post–should this happen, I apologize in advance.)

If you or your husband wants to work in the movie industry–you could be in for a doozy of a time. Let me recommend Gnomon (wierd name, but very high-quality, famous school.). IF you have like $20-30,000 for your husband to attend a program like this, this could be a quick, easy path for you–assuming he’s talented and a go-getter type. We did not. So, if you are like us, here are some possible challenges you could encounter:

1) As your husband learns his trade, he will be on his computer 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and unemployed for at least 3 years. Actually, I suspect this applies to numerous techie job–not just animation. Of course, some men would work in the day learn at night…I’m sure that’s nice for you.

2) Your husband’s going to “need” to buy lots of computer equipment in order to GET projects, and later a job–so this will be around $15,000-20,000 altogether. Not buying the equipment will mean that you’ve survived the 3 years of unemployment for nothing. Again, this pretty much applies to all techie jobs.

3) If you’re like me, you’ll get lucky and live on the East Coast, while all movie jobs are on the West Coast. BUT your husband will get offered contracts, not jobs, meaning you will now get to pay for 2 places, so he can go, but you can stay and maintain your full-time job with benefits in Virginia. (So you would be a single mother to your first child, oh, and pregnant with your second child. Also, you might have horrible morning sickness, not for 3 months like most people, but for 6, while your husband is away). This will last at least 6 months. And it may happen 2-3 times before your husband gets a full-time job.

4) Then you will move to California, quit your job, and never see your husband again because he’ll be working all the time. HAHAhahahaha. (This is a joke, but not so funny.)

5) It’s not over. Now your husband will need to “specialize.” So, get ready for him to go study in Canada at Vancouver Film School for 4 months while you stay in California with your, now 2 children, as a single mom. Oh, don’t expect him to have a valid passport. He might forget to renew it, as he forgets to renew his driver’s license (which he now has 3 of, which is not really legal–but it’s due to living in 8 cities in 9 years). Point being: you might freak out for 4 months while your husband is in Canada studying, as the passport law changes–you will be worried that they will not let him back into the US.

Okay, but it’s not this hard for everyone. It’s also not this easy for everyone. My husband is very talented both artistically and in science, so once he got his first real job, things moved extremely quickly. He has friends who have had the same job for years but want out and can’t find anything.

Finally, he didn’t job search. I job searched. For years, I sent out 10-50 resumes a week, along with demos. Yes, this was very dysfunctional of me. Of course, my husband should have done his own job searching. However, as I mentioned in a prior post, his theory was you apply to ONE job and wait for the answer before applying to the next job. Guess how often companies like Dreamworks answer–NEVER. Unless they want you. That wasn’t the case. Fortunately, it was fine with him to “let” me take over and start sending out stuff like mad. And it worked very well with my job searching..um..hobby.

These things said, this was fuel for our marriage. It was very hard, but at the same time, we are both risk-takers and like setting goals. We are not afraid of tough times and can handle stuff. Now that things have been settled for a few years, life is pretty good. But this is NOT the road for everyone. We have seen a few divorces among friends already due to the work hours alone! Beware of demanding techie jobs…beware.

Wow, it’s 1:30am, and my poor husband is still at work. I am so glad I already posted the mean post about how he wasted a lot of money, because I would feel kind of bad about posting it now…Well, not that bad I suppose. Who am I kidding? I love mean posts about guys, especially the ones I post about my husband.

So, I was going to try to wait for him, but I am falling asleep sitting up. He hasn’t worked this late since…hmmm, probably since we moved to California 4 years ago. Wow, time flies.

Notice, I don’t gripe about his work hours. A big part of that is that I like not being forced to watch new movie trailors and You-tube videos every 5 minutes, which is what happens when he comes home. Another big part of it is that I know what it’s like to not have enough income to pay bills. SO, I gripe about many things, and all for excellent reasons, but never my husband’s work hours. I’m just glad he has a good job and loves it even though it’s hard.

I am sitting in a state of bewilderment. My husband accomplished two very difficult tasks this week. All by himself. And he did them quickly. More quickly than I was able to. This scares me, and I am not trying to be funny. It also kind of makes me envious of his “get it done” skills. I like to think of myself as the “get it done” expert, but I have been outdone.

First, despite the post describing his pathetic attempts at job searching (and even theorizing about it), HE FOUND A JOB. FAST. Granted, the job has its pro’s and con’s. It’s in another city, which adds a great deal of confusion about where we will need to move next (due to not being near other jobs he knows he will apply for soon)…But it’s a job. And quite a nice-paying one.

Then…Please take a seat…He found his own room to rent. This, after I, the Master apartment and/or room-finder Extraordinaire, failed to even get a single e-mail response, despite my ingeniously crafted e-mails that made my husband sound like the roomate everyone always dreamed of but couldn’t find…And he got it CHEAP. AND CLOSE TO HIS JOB.

Goodness. What the heck is happening here? I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Husband is growing up.

Husband Meanness of the Day:

After my husband got out of bed at 12pm, he helped me until Niko (our 2.5 year old) took his nap. My husband also napped. Till 5. But then he helped me all night. Granted, he acted irritably and babyish the whole time, but I was happy to have the help, as I have 15 pages to write by tomorrow. Why am I writing the blog right now? Anyway, now it’s 10pm, and my husband just came in our room and tried to get in bed.

Excuse me, our bed is my desk (very small apt, very small bedroom, I have to put papers on my bed while I work and pretend the bed is a desk. It’s distracting, but I have no choice.). No, he can not get in bed. You may think that sounds mean. But I don’t have free time during the day to work–then I am watching our children. It would reduce a great deal of stress if I could work during the day, but it’s not possible. So, I HAVE to work at night, or I will lose my job.

I can’t work with my papers spread out on my bed–desk while my husband is also rolling around on my bed–desk. And, if you could HEAR him when he sleeps, you would understand that it will be far too loud in here to work. Solution? Sleep on the couch for a while or go to bed at 3am like he usually does–on the days, of course, when I want to sleep at 10pm..

Of course, if I were the one who needed sleep, and he needed to use the “desk” for work, I would happily sleep on the couch so he could work away. Can HE sleep on the couch? Oh nooooooo. It’s too uncomfortable. When I told him he couldn’t get into the bed, because I need to look at my papers (lying on the bed, my desk) as I work. Husband freaks out and stomps off into another room. SUCH A BABY.